Archive for the ‘I am in Love’ Category

Straight from the Heart

November 17, 2008

The other night we were laying in bed just enjoying each others company. I was resting my head on Mr. J’s shoulder and running my hand across his chest. My finger tips lingered on his scar and I slowly traced it from one end to the other.

I could feel J tensing … and I said, “I love your scar.”

The hesitation was in his voice when he asked what I was talking about… Was I joking? Why would anyone love something so ugly?

“Aw baby. It is not ugly at all. Every time I run my fingers down your scar, I am reminded of how lucky I am that you are alive and in my life.”

For thirty-eight years J has tried to hide his scar, too embarrassed to take his shirt off around others. Years of hearing the laughter and ridicule.

But, I can only smile when I trace my fingers across it… Because he is ALIVE!

Slowly, I traced my fingers up to his face, across his lips, and to his cheek. I felt the tears that silently moistened his eyes…

My heart ached… so many years of pain welled up inside that beating heart… covered by a scar, a scar that should be his badge of honor… A scar that shouts to the World, “This wonderful man is Alive.”  

J took my fingers and kissed them.

I love this man and his many scars, for they make him complete.


The things we do for Love

July 9, 2008

We have all been there. (Please tell me I am not alone in my crazy acts of love)


This morning was just one of those times… 4:30 in the morning, I had just finished cooking Mr. J’s breakfast of chorizo and egg burritos, wrapped them in foil for him to eat on his drive in to work. I packed his lunch, gave him a kiss, and pushed him out the door.


I then turned to clean up the breakfast dishes and noticed his burritos were sitting on the counter. Quickly scooping them up, I flew out the door and ran down the street waving my arms to get his attention. I was dressed, errrr… rather not dressed for my morning sprint in one of his T-shirts, a pair of his boxer shorts and my very own bare feet.


I did not even stop to think (uhhh no kidding, huh?) that anyone who might be out and about would be calling the police. I just knew that I had to get his attention before he reached the end of the block. Just before he reached the stop sign, Mr. J looked in his rear view mirror and saw me running down the middle of the street with my arms flailing like an albatross on crack.


It was not a matter of trying to prove anything… I just did not want him to start his day without breakfast. It’s All Love!  


Is it love that makes us lose some our senses, such as common sense?


It must be love. If not, I would have sat at the table and enjoyed his burritos while sipping another cup of coffee.


It is love that has us tasting the special breakfast that our 5 year old child made for us on Mother’s Day or tasting their sticky lollypop when they wave it in front of us with begging eyes.


It is love that has us leaning down and letting our dog kiss us on the mouth. Ok, I quit doing this after watching my beloved Chance lick his balls. I KNOW where his tongue has been.


It is love that turns the silly annoyances of our loved ones into acts of endearment; such as my son pretending to ‘air’ box me every time I walk by. This reminds me, it is love that has him slipping a bottle of vitamin water into my lunch everyday.


And it is love that has them taking out the trash without being asked. Ok, that one might be the product of constant nagging in prior years…


I am curious to hear what crazy things you may have done, without hesitating to consider the risks, out of LOVE. 

(I am going to try and catch up on comments and everyones blogs today and tomorrow…)   

I’m not really here…

July 2, 2008

Shhhhh…. I am supposed to be packing. But, I had to share a funny with you before I head out of town.

Mr. J is always riding my ass about my procrastination issues. This little trip is no different. He started almost three weeks ago asking me if I had packed our bags for the lake.

UH NO… Who in the hell packs three weeks before they leave? I don’t even know what I will feel like wearing until 15 minutes before I head out the door.

In order to get him to stop hounding me, I made him a bet. I bet that I would have all the bags packed before I go to bed tonight. If we get up in the morning and we are not ready to go, I will have to give him a blow job each and every day for an entire month.

Well, I am packed… COMPLETELY. I just finished.

Now, I am deciding whether or not to unpack some of the stuff on purpose.

Yeah… Our mini-vacation is long over due.

Ya’ll have a safe 4th of July… I’ll be back on Monday or Tuesday.


31 Flavors

June 27, 2008

Here is an update rolled into a post of sorts…


My gorgeous son, also known in some circles as Romi’s future husband, is comfortably settled at the J house.


I remember when he was a toddler and I anxiously waited for him to learn to talk. When the words began they NEVER stopped. On long car trips I would bribe him with McDonalds if he could stop talking for five frickin minutes. It nearly made his head explode, but he was able to refrain and win his Happy Meal.


Then he grew up and went to war. My home was so quiet… eerie silence hung from the walls. I craved his phone calls from the other side of the world and hung on every syllable.


WELL, he is home… And the nonstop chatter is once again bouncing from every corner. I adore my son and love his wit. He is a frickin walking encyclopedia of knowledge. Name a subject and he spits out the data. This is all cool… to a point. But, Oh My Hell, I think my eyeballs are bleeding. I am now suffering from severe sensory overload. The chatter never stops.


I am going to see if he can once again be bought off with a Happy Meal.  


Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade him for the world, I just need to adjust to the constant motion from his corner.


I have also given up running around the house in my bra and panties (or less). I think it would be cruel and unusual punishment to subject a grown child to all his momma’s jiggly parts unclothed. I don’t want him to be scarred.


He has introduced me to the series “Heroes” which I had previously written off without even a glimpse.  I am now a Heroes addict and have watched six episodes in two days… I will be watching the remaining episodes of season one this weekend.




Last night in bed, I climbed over Mr. J to check the setting on the alarm clock. I just happened to be naked and he just happened to be naked and I was being a bit of a tease…


Somehow or other, I must have put pressure on my stomach or something… and I threw up in my mouth a little. There I was laying naked across my husband, trying my best to regain control over a bad situation… He looked concerned and asked if I was ok.


I quietly explained what had just happened and then proceeded to laugh hysterically.


It just hit me in a funny way… I use that expression from the movie “Dodge Ball” all the time. It was ironic that when I actually did throw up in my mouth, I was trying to get a rise out of Mr. J.


His response… “Before I met you, I had no idea that crazy comes in 31 flavors.”

A Future Getaway

May 16, 2008

We are planning a short 3-4 day trip. We have located the place. Now we need to negotiate our schedules so that we can both be off work at the same time. This is a challenge as it is busy season for both of us and our respective bosses think we are indispensable. (trying out big words today… hehehe) Mr. J’s boss tends to throw mini hissy fits if we go out of town for longer than two day intervals. My boss is a bit more easy going as long as I am here on Thursdays for payroll as the natives get restless without their weekend beer money.

That was not nice. My guys are not drunkards… It just looks funnier to see beer money than gas money. Nothing is funny about paychecks being handed over to the gas stations. (along with a pint of blood and a promise of the sacrificial first born)

Back to our mini getaway. We have chosen a new spot. I have yet to tell Mr. J that I decided between several choices based on this picture from their website.

If a squirrel can unwind at their cabins, then surely we can as well.

Of course the pictures of the cabins pulled me in as well:


(Isn’t it sweet? It even has his and hers rockers out front!)

And then there is the lake itself:

 (and they rent boats!)

I have suggested that we Kayak the lake and Mr J did his best to stop from laughing out loud.

One more… They sit on about 500 acres and have extensive nature trails.

Sweet! I can almost taste the s’mores and feel the mosquitoes as I type. Now all we need to do is bribe, beg, and steal a few days off on the same weekend.

Reasons to Smile

May 15, 2008

Ten on Thursday

(In no particular order)


1. Snooze Button Snuggles ~ For nine blessed minutes every morning I get quality snuggle time with Mr. J. We often snuggle on the couch while watching a movie or squeeze up tight together at the beach. But for some reason the nine minutes before the snooze button bleeps, are my favorite. No talking, no outside noises, no pressures of the day ahead… He pulls me in tightly and softly strokes my tangled hair and I drool sleepy slobbers on his chest. Complete Bliss!



2. Gorgeous Flowers are Everywhere ~ It would be hard to remain a sour puss when surrounded by spring flowers. Even the huge magnolia tree out front is loaded with large beautiful flowers. The air is lightly scented with azaleas, lavender, jasmine, and sweet alyssum. Sitting back on the patio for a few minutes in the morning, sipping my coffee, and breathing in the hints of heaven.


3. My Fantastic Job ~ It is not exactly my dream job of either sampling chocolates for Keggs or watching over the flora and fauna in the Rockie Mountains, but it is a pretty rockin way to make a living. I have my own office and am not bothered too often. I am challenged daily but never overwhelmed. The money is good. The commute is short. I set my own hours… The only thing missing would be nap time and massages. I will need to take that up with the Pres. 

 (I want to move my desk out here)


4. Fresh Baked Apple Cinnamon Muffins ~ It is probably a sin to find happiness in something so delicious. As they baked this morning I envisioned the butter slowly melting in, the warm goodness on my tongue, and the aroma filling the air. I was not disappointed. YUMMY!


5. D – also known as the Eldest Child ~ I have mentioned him in the past, even tried to get him married off. He will have nothing of it. I see so much of myself in D. He has my practical side. He is a deep thinker, wise beyond his years… Alas, that is partly due to his two tours in Iraq. D has a fabulous way of making me smile, just by hearing his voice.


6. J – Also known as the Middle Child ~ At 19yrs of age J seems to have his life together. A steady girlfriend of 3yrs. A steady job of 4yrs. Pulling good grades at college, which is a wonderful accomplishment for anyone… and an even more awesome feat for a young man who is dyslexic. J carries my sensitive genes. He is slow to anger and quick to jump in and help the down trodden.


7. T – Also known as the Baby ~ Where would one start with describing T? He is a 17yr old bundle of motion. He can have the entire room rolling on the floor laughing or in stunned silence listening to him spill his intellect. He is not shy about sharing the fact that he is more awesome than just about everyone. T is a firecracker. I always joked that he would one day conquer the WORLD… But he is content in his quest to study medicine and just instead save lives.


Having a D, a J, or a T would be enough joy in anyone’s life for endless smiles. Having all three is almost too much happy to handle.


8. Mr. J calling me at Work and asking ME how to spell a Word ~ This makes me smile for numerous reasons. The first would be the fact that I am a horrific speller. I tend to spell phonetically or even worse, I am now spelling in slang. But, the main reason for the smile would be simply hearing his voice. He is my island in the middle of a stormy sea. No matter how crazy my day, hearing his voice makes everything alright again.       


9. Finding out my fuzzy brain and falling down dizzy spells are not symptoms of a brain tumor or blood clots ~ (Mr. J thinks I am just a dizzy Dame) Thankfully it is just a severely low iron count, which is also causing the extreme itchies all over my body.


10. Watching the sun rise and the sun set ~ And knowing my family is safe and happy. Perhaps we are a tad bit CRAZY, but we are happy none the less.

Enter at you Own Risk!

April 25, 2008

That is the notice that should have been placed on my Kitchen Doorway.

My dear sweet, well intentioned husband was left to cook dinner for himself the past couple nights while I was in class. The first night went fairly well, as he cooked a delicious meal, straight out of the bag from Wendy’s.

Wednesday night was not so pretty. I walked into what could quite easily be confused for a war-zone. (and from the looks, my kitchen lost the battle)

How is the hell do you dirty every pot and pan, plate, fork, knife, and bowl in the house while frying chicken and making instant mashed potatoes?

How do you end up with grease and flour all the way from the sink to the trash to the front door?

I need to install cameras as I am sure we would have had a winner on Americas Funniest Home Videos.

I did not even have the strength to clean it up when I got home Wednesday, nor could I face it when I got up for work on Thursday. I secretly hoped a natural disaster would pick up my kitchen and leave it a few blocks down… I would rather start over from scratch.

The best part of his meal??? The chicken was not edible. That is not true… It was not edible by us. But, the dogs loved it. I often keep a baggie of mixed flour and spices just for coating fried chicken. Mr. J saw a baggie of white ‘stuff’ in the pantry and thought it was the chicken batter baggie…

Well, he was WRONG! The baggie in question was my experimental recipe for banana nut-spice pancakes.

Yes, Mr. J made banana nut-spiced chicken… YUMMY … not  

5 things you are better off not knowing…

April 18, 2008

I was tagged by Joanharvest She is a sweetie and stated, “Don’t feel like you HAVE to participate, and ignore it if you have been tagged already.”

I am not a sweetie and say, “If I took the time out of my precious day to tag your ass, then I want the dirt.” (yes LL that means you too. I know you will ignore me, but I have your home address and will plague you with curses of Mary.)

Back to Joan ~ That woman is just a click off center and that is perhaps why I love her so much. She would be a great person to hang with. Although two slightly crazy broads in one room might be too much for the universe. I am willing to tempt fate. But, I will bring my squirrel repellent with me.

Five Things Found in My Bag:

(are you sure that you want this shit?) I was a bit surprised that no little children nor car parts were found in this thing.

1.) I am always worried that I don’t have a pen, or wont be able to find a pen… So I often just grab another from my desk and toss it in my purse before heading to work. Obviously, I it is a sickness:

2.) In the hustle and justle of my mornings, I often slip out without taking a vitamin. Sooooooo….. I got in the habit of carrying them in my purse. When it dawns on me that I need to take one they are handy. (As for the Smooth Move tea bag… Ya never know when a girl would like a nice cup of tea or a healthy bowel movement.)

3.) Mr. J gets a tad bit whiny pissy cranky when we go out to eat and they do not have Tobasco. So, I carry little packets for him. As for the other goddies, they just seem to accumulate over time. I laughed when I saw the package of lemon juice. I have no idea where it came from or how long I have had it. It is ALL DRIED UP.

4.) Basic girl stuff supplies. Joan, I thought about you and your knife when I found the little pair of scissors. Maybe I could cut little holes in bad people with my ‘weapon.’  


5.) I am rich Beyatches…

   ($7.36…. Wahooooooo)

After snapping the shots I cleaned most of the crap out and had room to carry my lunch!

Five Things in My Room  I know you expect to see my toys… not a chance… I am a private sexaholic and do not share my joy with freaks on the web (not that y’all are freaks… er… not that I would call y’all out)

1.) This is where it happens from time to time.

2.) Boring, I know… But, this is where I sit and slip into and out of my clothes. (unless I am standing on the bed doing a proper strip tease)

3.) Part of my massive doll collection. The one on the right was a gift from my Mom and the one on the left, from Mr. J. (He said that the doll reminds him of me… crazy hair and barefoot.)

4.) We have had this bottle for years and will never drink it. I am sure it is quite nasty by now. We were always waiting for the perfect occassion to drink it. When almost perfect occasions came along, we bought other bottles to drink… saving this bottle for just the right time. Yes, we are dorks

5.) And to show you that I am always off kilter a bit (in case you were not sure) This table sits in the corner of my room. I have pushed things to the side and use it for a construction bench. I see no reason to cut the base boards outside, going up and down the stairs (forgetting measurments). When I want to work out (like never) I will go to the gym.


(yes, I have a real wine rack but the construction bench makes it hard to reach)

Five Things I am Into:

1. Sex (sorry no pictures… hehehe)

2. Chocolate (I got the camera out to take a picture and then ate all the candy.)

3.) Body art in the form of chocolate body paint. (What? This is a list of things I am into.)

4.) Football ~ I may have fibbed when I mentioned to B&G that I am not a rabid fan. I mope around in a deep funk waiting for the season to return. It does not matter if it is College ball –

That is Colt Brennan gunning one for Hawaii. Mr J surprised me with this game for my birthday.

or my sick obsession with the Chargers. Yes, we have towels, clocks, mugs, license plates, banners, posters, jerseys, hats, jackets, watches, pom-poms, footballs, helmets, autographed magazines, rookie football cards… But, we keep it in check (sort of). It is all in one room and we close the door when the season is over. Only peaking in and checking on the guys from time to time.


The one and only… (although, he is in the dog house for a dismal post season last year.)

5.) Creating new recipes:

This recipe took me a couple years to perfect. I am not a big fan of chocolate cake as they are usually dry… This one has almost every ingredient that is important to me in the dessert world.
Chocolate Cream Cheese Cake
1 3/4 cup boiling water
1 cup Oatmeal (quick oats)
1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup butter (softened)
3 eggs
12oz chocolate chips
1 cup chopped pecans
Sift together:
1 3/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup of cocoa
Mix oatmeal in water and let stand for 10 minutes. Add sugars, butter and eggs. Stir in dry ingredients, nuts, and 1/2 of chocolate chips.
Pour into greased and floured 9 X 13 pan.
In small bowl mix:
8 oz of softened cream cheese
1/3 cup of granulated sugar 
1 egg.
Spoon onto cake mixture and cut thru batter. Sprinkle with remaining chocolate chips.
Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes. Do not overcook.
Serve hot with vanilla ice cream…. Yummmmmmmm! 8-)
Five Things I Have Always Wanted to Do:
1.) Dunk a basketball. This is crazy. I am not afraid of heights, but apparently me feet are. They refuse to propel me into the air higher than two inches.
2.) Send the Ass ex a “Thank you for the beat-downs” letter. If he would have been a little less violent, I might not have left and consequently found the love of my life. So Thanks for being such an Ass.
3.) Deep sea fishing or maybe sailing… or perhaps both!
4.) Go to the heart of the war zone and bake everyone cookies. I have this theory that the fighting would stop if I offered a “turn in your guns for cookies” deal. At the very least, I could give our Troops some hugs and fresh baked goodness to warm their hearts.
5.) Spend a few months in Italy absorbing the food, the vino, and the culture.
Now (drum roll please) “What’s in Your Wallet?” I mean spill it… In no particular order:
1. LL
11. Red
As you can see, I don’t follow the rules. I could not decide, Sue me!


I Love him… No Foolin

April 1, 2008

Ok, I had some fun yesterday with my implication of impropriety.

Last night I recited the  poem  for my hubby…

He became sullen. Turning his head in a deliberately slow manner, he asked me point blank: “Would you cheat on me?”

I should have known that my exquisite word play would mess with his head. Too much double meaning, too many ‘what ifs’ left hanging in the air. It was intentional. I had hoped to make one think, to question…

I stifled the chuckle that tried to escape, stared boldly into his eyes, and responded with absolute resolve, “Never.”

Not content he pursued, “You are supposed to say that.”

“Honey, honey, honey… Why would I ever settle for a hotdog when I have Filet Minot at home?”

 Still not convince he pulled me closer and asked, “What if a younger cut of beef catches your eye?” (We tend to use food metaphors quite often.)  

“Oh, my love… You know I prefer the taste and texture of a quality cut of aged beef.”

He smiled contently and told me that he was starving… No, not sexually. *drats*


 All the beef talk had made him hungry. I need to work on some non food descriptions of devotion.  

This all led to our question of the day: (he asked me)

“What if I was being held prisoner and my captor was going to kill me unless you had sex with him, would you have sex with the gunman to save my life?”

This is a trick question; a very bad, sick, twisted trick question.

So, I answered with a bold, sick, twisted answer: “No, I still would not have sex with another man, not even to save your life. For, you would be alive to contemplate the fact that I had sex with someone other than yourself. You would forever hound me with bizarre questions and endless doubts. No, it would be best for both of us if I let you die.”

Yes, he almost choked on his tea.

He knows without a doubt that I will step in front of a speeding soccer mom, take on a village of rabid pygmies, sale body parts on eBay, or even attempt to rip the genitals from an attacking rhino before I would allow anyone to intentionally harm those I love.

To hear that I would let him die, left him all choked up. Kind of romantic isn’t it? -P

Laughing at Life

March 25, 2008

That is exactly what we did all weekend. We laughed so much that Mr. J was concerned strangers were going to call in the authorities and have us hauled off in little white jackets.

Friday night we took a drive to the beach to watch the waves crash.  We then drove to Fulton to see the giant live Oak trees. I would have loved to have these trees to climb and build a fort in when I was young. They are magnificent!


It is hard to stay sad when you are surrounded by such beauty. I took the picture below as the sun was coming up at Aransas Bay. 

It was so rejuvenating and I grimaced at the thought of going back to Houston. Mr. J must have felt the vibe. He turned and asked me if I was ready for an adventure?

ALWAYS! You see, Mr. J and I are Gypsies at heart. We travel light and are most happy when we are out in the world. If we become stuck in our hood for too long, we get restless and irritable. (bet you couldn’t tell from my posts the last week or so… hehehe)

“Good. Go pee and get ready for a drive.”

I always laugh and wrinkle up my nose when he tells me to go pee. I am not five and do not need to be reminded to use the restroom before a long drive. I swear! Just because that one time when I made him stop five miles down the road at a gas station.

Speaking of gas station toilets; I would rather pee behind the building than use one of those nasty places. However, peeing behind the building might land me a spot in the county hotel. And I do not want to be responsible for giving some poor homeless man a heart failure or cause blindness.

So, I place a half a roll of paper on the seat and even then chose to hoover. They need to send in these guys with high pressure hoses to clean the poop off of the seats and floors and walls. Why do people put poop on the walls? (And if you have never been blessed with a trip to a gas station restroom in the hood I am so sorry. Everyone should try it just once. It makes you more appreciative of home and helps to overlook Mr J’s occasional ooops. (how do they miss?)



Me ~ “OK, Mr J. I peed. Can we go now?”  “Where we going?” “Can I get some chocolate while we are gone?” (my brain mouth slipped into overdrive)

Mr. J ~ (looking at me out of the corner of his eye… and yes, I noticed that he was rolling his eyes) “Breathe between questions. You are going to pass out and if you pass out, I am going to take advantage of you.”

Oh that man is such a card. I love telling him just that, but I use my best Boston accent so it sounds as if I am calling him a cod.

So, off we went on an adventure. No plans, no reservations, and no schedules for two days. Just two goofballs on the open road.

When we got to I-10 he made a right and I began to giggle like a school girl. “Are we going where I think we are going?” I asked.

Mr. J had a big grin on his gorgeous face. He just kept saying, “You’ll see.”

This was too much. I grabbed my camera and began snapping pictures. Out of respect for Mr. J’s wishes, I will not post any of the 112 pictures that I took of him making faces at me.

This one I snapped just before I-10

He told me to stop snapping that type of picture as it was his responsibility to turn me over to Homeland Security for taking pictures of chemical plants. I swear that I was taking a picture of the ship channel and the plants jumped into the picture uninvited. (If I quit posting it is because my hubby is a good citizen and called the appropriate authorities.)

As we rolled closer and closer to Looser-Anna Louisiana, I had to ask him again; “Where are we going?”

This time Mr J explained while he tried to keep from laughing, “We are going to spend the night in their town, since they have made themselves comfy in ours.”

We decided that we should be safe in New Orleans with the worst of the hoodlums camping out around the corner from our house.


I took that picture because, well who would want to live in a town called Sulpher? I laid out my thickest Southern drawl and said, “Baay-bee, Can we move to Sulpher, Looser-Anna?”

(I think he cursed at me… something about saying no to crack.)

OH Crack! That reminds me, I want some Looser-Anna Crack!

Ah my sweet was so good at obliging me this trip. He found my favorite crack shop.

I am a crack cracklin junkie. The stuff is so bad for you and tastes so goooooooooooood! Thankfully, we have not found a good place to buy it in Texas.

We then got back on the road… between stuffing our faces with Cajun crack and laughing at the simplicity of everything around us, I almost forgot to continue snapping pictures.

The boat on the right of the picture used to sit on the left side of Lake Charles. Hurricane Rita relocated it to a spot under the bridge that we are on when I snapped the picture. The casino that owned the boat never rebuilt so the boat was bought out by a casino on the right side of the lake.

(Mr J drives fast and the countryside is a bit blurry) 😀 The trees are beginning to show more life. This part of the country was eerie after Rita blew thru. The leaves had been stripped from branches and many of the taller trees were snapped and cast all over the highway.

The gorgeous foyer of our humble abode for the night. I have never seen a Holiday Inn Express that looked so fancy. The rooms were not as elegant but they were clean and the bed had plenty of bounce. I know because I was jumping on it until Mr. J came back with a bucket of ice and caught me.  😀

This is a picture of the best part of the hotel:

Look close. Do you notice anything out of the ordinary? Keep in mind that I am slightly off kilter and thrive off of obscurity.

Take a closer look below.







Hahahaha… we slept next to the cemetery. While we were out eating and then later playing at a casino, I kept asking Mr. J to take me back so we can sleep at the cemetery.

Perhaps I was getting on his nerves because he raised an eyebrow and asked, “Ya want for me to arrange for the boys to tuck ya in for a dirt nap?” (That was his Al Pacino impersonation)

I needed this weekend more than I knew. My cheeks are still sore from all the laughing. Fully recharged, we once again came home…