Archive for the ‘beauty’ Category

Dating 101

December 12, 2008

First wanted to say that I have been gone for a bit and kind of like the new WordPress layout. I hope they have not changed too much.

Single and Dating…

Not me…  I am attached to the love of my life and whether he knows it or not, I am his life-long appendage.

My best girl buddy Kelley is single and she loves to share her dating adventures with me.  Kelley is a beautiful, independent young woman. She has no trouble getting dates. Her problem is being asked out on a second date.

Actually, it is not much of a problem to her as she has not been very impressed with the first dates lately. (I think she is content with being single and only goes on dates for entertainment at her date’s expense.)

Last night Kelley was on a big girl – play dress up – classy restaurant type date.  Her date was waiting at the restaurant when she arrived. He graciously pulled out her chair and made sweet attempts to make her feel special.

Kelley threw out some witty conversation starters (that is what she called them, but I am a bit skeptical because she loves to throw out gems that leave a person wondering WTH?)

Kelly said her date began to squirm in his chair so she took off her metaphoric boxing gloves and asked him straight out, “Why are you so nervous? Just be yourself. Most people try too hard and at the end of the night are left standing there with their dick in their hand, so-to-speak.”

She said the guy turned beet red and asked her to please refrain from being so crass.

And Kelley, being Kelley said… “Sure, but if you want this date to progress in a more positive manner you might want to pull the stick out of your ass.”

Of course I had to ask her how her date responded to that gem…

Kelly said that she was actually surprised when he got up and left the restaurant. She thought this one might actually have a bit of spunk.

She asked me, “Do you think he is going to call me back for a second date?”

Embracing your inner Skank

May 30, 2008

I would like to thank Miss Ella  ( ellaSays: You know you look like a skank don’t you? ) for the idea for today’s post. Without her inciteful insightful, yet barbed, observation I might not have taken this opportunity to point out the importance of letting it all hang out from time to time.

We all have one, some keep her better hidden… perhaps even from themselves. But she is in there, begging to come out and play.

Inside of each of us hides a dirty little girl.

cue the theme music:

It was not Mommas fault. She dressed us up

and sent us off to school… looking like little ladies…

But, we have always been pulled to the earth, to our dirty side…

Our inner Princess is just begging for some dirt.

Our parents scold and still we find ourselves right back in it.

Down ‘N Dirty… thru and thru… We have Issues!

Our primal urges only intensify with age…

 Some of us are able to totally let go … We are so naughty!

Some of us are a tid bit more reserved…

Come on… sing it with me… Down N Dirty…

(makes ya wanna unbutton a button doesn’t it?)

Oh sure, we must keep up appearnaces… We can wash it off, and clean up for the office.

 

But we know, deep deep down that there is a part of us that is just screaming to get dirty.

Let her out! Let her play… And if the Ellas out there in their scared, pent-up world feel they need to call us skanks… Let them fling the mud.

Cuz, I like being a bit Down ‘N Dirty… I am not afraid to embrace it. I love the dirty side, I love the skank in me.

Ok, I am sad to say that the picture I tried to scan from the newspaper is too faded. You will have to envision me in all my glory, covered with mud from head to toe. I was featured as the proud winner of the women’s division of the mud obstacle course! (Yes, I rocked the Mud!)

At the office, I keep the conservative image in tact… but, I have my skanky side which I fully embrace.

Sorry, you have to settle for a mudless …  shot.

And at the end of it all… We are all drawn right back to the primal dirt road…

We will always yearn to feel just a little bit dirty…

 

Embrace it… roll in it… Down ‘N Dirty … Ya just don’t have to let everyone know your little secret. 😉