(Spoken in my best pirate voice)

I am stuck in some sort of slow motion picture show. I can feel every demented tick of the clock on the wall.

We have submitted a bid for our very own little box made out of ticky tacky…

(Billy Bob version just for Red)

I adore this home almost to the point of being in ‘lust’ with it. Yes, I believe I creamed a tad bit when we walked through the front door.

It will need some gentle prodding (with a hammer and crow bar) to bring it out of the 70’s.

… And as excited as Mr. J is to see the floor to ceiling mirrors in the master bedroom, they must go. Nothing breaks the mood faster than catching my reflection while in the throes of passion and thinking; “Holy shit, I make weird faces during the humpity-hump.”

… And then utilizing the remainder of the ‘ride’ to vogue in front of the mirror.

Nah, the mirrors will be moved to the work-out room.

This is insane! I have no idea if we will get the house, yet I have all 3116 square feet of living space already furnished and decorated in my mind.

Now, if someone would just hit the fast forward button and have the seller accept our bid.

Until then I am working extra hours, submerging myself in challenging projects such as  this special project to keep my brain from frying.

… There’s a green one, and a pink one, and a blue one, and a yellow one… and they’re all made out of ticky tacky and I want MINE!

32 Responses to “Arrrrrrgh…”

  1. Taoist Biker Says:

    Woohoo! Operation: Exodus reaches another important milestone!

    That’s awesome, I hope your bid is accepted, your inspection turns up nothing of consequence, and your closing is quick and painless!

  2. K. Trainor Says:

    Crossing my eyes, fingers and flippers for ya! 😀

  3. Girly Says:

    How exciting! I have everything crossed for you as well!!

  4. Peter Parkour Says:

    Good lucky. I can’t wait to hear you’re typing away from a new location. 😉

  5. joanharvest Says:

    That will be so awesome when you get it. I’m sending you positive vibes through my computer.

  6. Sarah Says:

    Awesome! Good luck, and I too am crossing everything that can be crossed for you.

  7. Just a Mom Says:

    Yay! Good luck! I am pushing the fast forward button for ya!

  8. Moonbeam McQueen Says:

    You must have that house. You will have that house. That house is YOURS!
    (Note positive thinking.) Really, betme, I do hope you get it.

  9. mistermanly Says:

    Hi B,

    Living, as I do, in an antique home that almost doubles your dream home where floor space is concerned (the master bedroom is 30’x40′,) I can say from experience that there are many considerations to consider before buying a money pit. While we had ours thrust upon us through the death of a relative, who, thanking back on things, never did like me all that much, the experience I’ve gained from trying to maintain this pink elephant should apply to your dream home as well. Everything more than 15 to 20 years old will break, and at just that point in time when you can’t afford to have it repaired. While we are fortunate enough not to have a mortgage hanging over our heads, over the last five years we have shelled out almost as much in repair costs as said loan would have demanded. Last year, for instance, we paid $10,000 for part of a new roof, and in the next year or three we’ll have to cough up the same to complete the job. On top of that, the last power failure managed to kill our internal electrical supply to one of the guest rooms, which will require the services of a $50 an hour electrician for a day or two to restore, two of our four chimneys are crumbling and about to collapse, which will cost God alone knows how much to fix, and our back side wall has at least 50′ x 30′ of exterior wood siding that is so rotten that even modestly large insects who fly into it leave dents. I don’t even want to contemplate what that repair is going to cost us. So, my advice is that if you just have to buy an old house, keep at least 20% of its value in available credit for repairs. Sorry to be so negative, but I feel the need to be honest on this subject.

    Mister Manly

  10. Don Smith Says:

    Uh, this “special projects thing?” Uh, I could not do it. Uh, it was like, uh, mind blowing for me and I didn’t have a chance.

    Uh, know what I mean?

    No one ever “owns” a house, they own you. You are just the caretaker per say, you are never the owner. I made payments on mine for over 26 years and thought it was mine, wrong, it belongs to the state and the county and the city in which I live and they are never going to allow me to just sit in it and own it.

    Then there are the utilities, taxes, upkeep, maint. which is another name for upkeep and the neighbors and the ………. add nauseaum.

    But you seem like reasonable, sane people, and that is your dream, so I say ……. go for it.


  11. mistermanly Says:

    Hi B,

    A correction. I woke up at two something this morning worrying about the size of my house, made some coffee, had a cup, got out the tape measure and figured out that we’re only slightly over 4,000 square feet. The master bedroom is actually 20″x 30″. Still, when I’m sweaping and moping, it seems a lot larger.

    Mister Manly

  12. trishatruly Says:

    I want for you whatever makes you happy! I’m keeping everything I got crossed (except my legs, hehehe) for your good luck!

  13. kaylee2 Says:

    Are you oko?

  14. thegirlfromtheghetto Says:

    You will get it, don’t worry!

  15. Red Says:

    and yes, *swoon* billy fucking bob. Niiiice.

  16. kaylee2 Says:

    You a pirate now??? 😉

  17. romi41 Says:

    this is so exciting! Keeping my fingers crossed for you on getting your dream home; distract yourself as best you can! 😉

  18. Don Smith Says:

    The suspense in killing me, you get the bid or what?

    You know where Pirates eat lunch?

    (close one eye and squint)



  19. K. Trainor Says:

    *taps fingers on desk* Any word? 🙂

  20. trishatruly Says:

    HellllOoooo!! Anyone home? We need to know!!! Why? “Cause we’re nosey and we love you!

  21. betme Says:

    Sorry my cumpooter is being vewwy vewwy difficult. I cannot get it to let me log in and make a post… or check my emails or read most of the blogs… (I can’t even get on to any porn sites) I keep getting some demented message about not being logged on to the internet. *&%%$^&*%# and &*()^$#^*

    No word from the seller yet… WTH???? Don’t they want to sell the frickin house??? I am going slowly mad(er)

    Luv all y’all… and as soon as I can get my cumpooooter to cooperate, I will blather my wit on your blogs.

  22. trishatruly Says:

    Whew! Glad to hear you’re still alive and kicking! Sorry you still haven’t heard about the house but no news is good news, right?
    Come back ASAP!!!! Missing you, girl!

  23. MJ Says:

    Good to know you’re still alive at least. Good luck with the house thing!

  24. Allison Says:

    My daughter is into pirates right now.

    Good luck! I’m sure you’re biting your nails, but hopefully not walking a plank, right now.

  25. joanharvest Says:

    I glad I came here and saw your comment. I was getting worried about you. It sucks about your computer. I hope you here from the seller soon.

  26. Murder of Ravens Says:

    Good luck! Ahhh, the joys of home ownership. 😉


  27. kaylee2 Says:

    sorry you cant get a post 😦

  28. thegirlfromtheghetto Says:

    You should have gotten your stuff from me by now … and I hope you like it!!!

  29. Luke Says:

    Argh, I think I would get lost with that much space!

  30. Taoist Biker Says:

    Hope you can get back online again soon, you’re sorely missed!

  31. Just a Mom Says:

    I hope you made it through Ike ok!

  32. liquid Says:

    You crack me up! I hope you are safe and hurry back!

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