Does Not Play Well With Others…

Mr. J is threatening to take away my playground privileges. He said that I do not play well with others. I wholeheartedly disagree. I am a sweet kitty batting the mouse around the room before I eat him.



(this picture was ganked from Quiet Places )


His latest threat came about when I told him my plan to mess with Wal-mart. Over the weekend I did some light shopping at ‘Hell’-mart. I know, I reap what I sow. For years I have been pulled in by their low prices, sacrificing quality and customer service.


For years, I grumbled over the lack of customer service when trying to locate an item. Shopping at ‘hell’-mart is the equivalence of trying to get a quality dinner at McDonalds. You are saving a few bucks but getting something that barely resembles food.


Well, at ‘hell-mart, the same store I have shopped at for the past six years, I was told that they would no longer accept my husband’s credit card. (It is the same method of payment that I have used for the past six years.) They have a new policy that the ID and credit card must match. Alrighty, this makes sense in order to deter fraud.


I think my aggression came about because this has been my method of payment for many years. I show them my driver’s license and a nifty reduced copy of my marriage license and they let me proceed. No such luck this time.


To avoid a major issue I told the manager I would write a check. This is the first time I have ever written a check at ‘hell’-mart. The manager then asked to see my ID. What the Hell?


I looked at him as if he had just asked me to give him a blow job. I asked why he needed to see my ID and he responded, “I need to see if your name matches the name on the check.”


“Dude, my name has not changed since I showed you my ID two minutes ago for the credit card.”


He said it didn’t matter he needed to see it again.


It was at that very moment that I wished I had several fake ID’s in my purse. I would have laid them all out on the counter and asked, “Um, which name is on the check?” “I don’t remember which account I used.”


Mr. J said he will not bail me out of jail if I try something like that… I seriously want to get four or five fake ID’s and each time they ask for my ID, I hand them a different one.


(This picture was ganked from Quiet Places )


“What day is it today? Wednesday, Oh I am Theresa on Wednesdays. No wait on Wednesdays I am Karen. Or is Karen for Fridays and Melissa for Mondays?”


“Just tell me who you want me to be today, OK?”  


For my own personal sanity I told the ‘hell’-mart manager that I was taking my future business to H.E.B. where they know me and call me by name and they never leave me feeling like I have been picked out of a police line-up.


Yes, I will be paying higher prices, but I will also be buying better quality meats and produce.


Mr. J… Get the bail money ready, cuz I may never be able to play nice with others.  



(This picture ganked from Hyphen Magazine )


11 Responses to “Does Not Play Well With Others…”

  1. boundandgags Says:

    YEA! Good on ya! Excellent! Tweak ’em and smack ’em I always say!

    Sorry you had to go through it but thanks a ton for the laughs.

  2. Peter Parkour Says:

    Yeah, I can see where that would piss me off too. By the way, what’s H.E.B.?

  3. betme Says:

    B&G ~ You might as well laugh… It is either that or smack the shit out of people.

    Spidey ~ Here is a link. They are a Texas, family owned business. Their quality is tops for their produce and steaks.

  4. mistermanly Says:

    Hi b,

    I love my local Wal*Mart. I do, however, suspect that ours, being in a small town on the edge of Memphis, is probably not an example of those located in more urban areas. I’ve done business there for long enough that almost all the staff know me, including the manager. The check out people all wave me to their line when I go by, because they just love to find out what I’m cooking next, and I’m more than happy to share recipes. Once, I even threw one woman a baby shower because her home just wasn’t large enough for such activity. As to checking my ID, they have to ask for mine, but none of them bother to look at it anymore, which would spoil your fake ID joke. We also share a good laugh when they have to card me over my beer purchases.

    Mister Manly

  5. kaylee2 Says:

    HAHAHAHAAHAHAH I hate walmart 🙂

  6. Sarah Says:

    I often mess with the idiots at walmart. What my husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him. If I could avoid that place though I would, unfortunately it is the only place that sells the cat food that my picky ass cat eats unless of course I want to go to Petsmart and pay double for a 5 pound bag of food. Whenever I go, I buy like 8 bags at once so I don’t have to go back for a very long time.

  7. K. Trainor Says:

    Good for you! I despise that store. I only go there when I really have no other options. (Which is rare.)

  8. Peter Parkour Says:

    I went and checked out that link. They sound like a pretty cool store and you tend to get what you pay for. 😉 No wonder the prices are “cheaper” at Wal Mart. 😈 Who’da thunk a food store named Butt could go so far. 😉 I’m gonna check ’em out next time I’m in the area with a little extra time on my hands. Thanks.

  9. MJ Says:

    Oh, welcome to my world of hating China-Mart. Their customer service is awful. They don’t care because they are making billions anyway. After I overheard one of the Latina employees talking bad about me in Spanish (Note: I know enough Spanish to know she was saying I had big boobs for a 12-year old), I decided not to shop there anymore. I did manage to tell her my real age (20 at the time) in Espanol before leaving, much to the employee’s amazement.

  10. Don Smith Says:

    I used that American Gothic picture on my site today also. But mine did not have the ID Card thingy that is cool.

    Walmart? I am over there, buying some Snapple, I am big fan of Snapple, and this gal leaves and walks out of the store, I put my stuff up and she says to me …… “I cannot wait on you.”

    So I say, “Why not?” She then says, “She left her money in the car, and she has gone to get it.” So I say “what kind of idiot comes to a store, without money?” No reply.

    I patiently wait for the girl to return ……. Guess where she is from?

    Ole’ … I like it here, I like it here, you dog-gone rights I like it here.

    The things I do for my Snapple ……..


  11. Allison Says:

    Ugh, after a long roadtrip with the kid, I’m pretty sure I got to see everything McDonald’s had to offer…the McGood, the McBad and the McUgly. The only thing McGood was the fruit and walnut salad. Everything else was pretty bad. The salad had soggy bacon bits…the chicken sandwich had a slimy coating. What did I expect? The things I’ll do for a playground…I’m a bit of a playground whore I suppose. I should have just eaten milkshakes at each stop.

    I’m a Wal-Mart whore as well. Stupid low prices.

    Sometimes it’s hard to restrain the sarcasm, isn’t it?

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