Failure is Not an Option

This should be my motto, not because I am perfect, but because my mind will not allow me to let it go until I have figured out how to succeed.


This is a character flaw. My curiosity or blatant ribbing from someone close to me will often push me to dip my toes in the proverbial pool of the unknown. Leading me to secretly jump in head first when no one is watching… Sink or Swim


And a MAJOR flaw is refusing to admit that I have no idea how to do something.  


Mr. J ~ “Honey, I think there is a leak in the roof. I am going to call a guy to come out and check it out this weekend. Unless this is something that you know how to do…”


This is an ongoing family joke. I can repair ANYTHING. My curling iron quits working and I take out my screw driver, open it up, rewire the little sucker, wrap some electrical tape around the connection and put it back together. This comes from years of being my Daddy’s little shadow. Grandma needs a ceiling fan installed and she calls me. Her lawn mower will not start and I come over and clean up the carburetor and filter, slap in a fresh spark plug and Wallllaaaaah, good as new.   


Mrs. Loony (aka me) ~ “Don’t call anyone until I get a chance to check it out.”


Have I ever fixed a roof? Does that matter? *shrugs* How hard can this be?


Note to self: If it is 92 degrees outside, it is probably 195 degrees in the attic.


Last night after work I climbed in the attic. Climbing would be the proper term as we do not have a fancy ladder system to get into our attic. We do own one of those new fangled aluminum ladders, but what kind of challenge would that offer? Besides that would mean I would have to move one of the cars from in front of the storage shed, and drag the ladder upstairs. Instead I tucked a flashlight into the waist of my jeans and proceed to climb the built in shelving in my closet. (Spider Man should take notes)


Reaching the ceiling, I precariously balanced one foot on a shelf and one foot on the adjoining wall. I pushed the nifty cutout up and gasped for air as dust, wood shavings, and insulation fell on my head. If I were a quitter, this would have been a pretty good time to fold. But, I had already committed, there was no turning back.


Now comes the tricky part… I have the upper body strength of a gnat and I would have to pull myself up thru the hole in the ceiling. Knowing my limitations, I re-evaluated the situation, climbed back down and did the only illogical thing possible. I stacked a couple books on the top shelf to give me a few more inches and climbed back up. Perfect!


Balancing on the books I was able to pull myself into the oven.


*note for future attic exploration – Take a couple gallons of water to rehydrate and move as quickly as possible before succumbing to the heat thus avoiding the nuisance of passing out. Do not spend so much time checking corners for mice, squirrels, snakes or bats. Any creature dumb enough to be in the attic would have been slow roasted.


Surviving possible heat stroke, dehydration and delirium; I found the wet spot around the flashing and made haste to the opening. Over and over in my mind I kept saying “Do not go into the light.” Yes, even in my near vegetative state I was still able to muster up enough wit to entertain myself.


I made it back down to fresh air and stable footing with nothing more than a bruise on my knee, a sliver in my thumb, scratchies all over my arms from the insulation, and mild retardation brought on by heat exhaustion.


All in all it was a successful mission.


I picked up the materials and tonight I will be replacing the loose shingles and caulking around the flashing. Don’t fret; tonight I will use the ladder. I do have enough books to stack to the roof, but I am under a time constraint. I need to get all of this finished before Mr. J comes home and tries to save me from myself.


8 Responses to “Failure is Not an Option”

  1. joanharvest Says:

    My daughter is like you. She can put together anything and fix anything. There’s nothing she won’t try to do herself. I’d like to say she takes after me because I was like that when I was young. Now I just tell her when I need something done.

    Your daughter is a product of you and it shows.

    I don’t consider it a flaw though. I think it is awesome. You probably did a better job than if you would have hired someone.

    Joan you are a sweetie. Do you mind telling Mr. J that it is not a flaw? He keeps telling me, “You know we can afford to have someone fix that.” I hold out my hand and ask, “How about paying me?” 😀

  2. Taoist Biker Says:

    Pirsig says that even if you do the job yourself and screw it up, learning how to fix the original problem AND your screw ups will give you gumption to tackle similar problems again in the future.

    And sometimes I make a problem that is double or tripple to woes of the origninal.

    Now, my question is, how the hell did you battle insulation and not come out itching like you’d gone streaking through poison oak? MAN that stuff is nice until you touch it.

    I did not win the insulation battle. That nasty stuff clings to perspiration in the worst possible way. I rubbed the trickles of sweat from my forehead and spread the itch to my face as well as both arms.

  3. Peter Parkour Says:

    You’re my hero, after Spider-Man of course. 😉

    Well of course Spidey comes first, followed by Cat Woman… 😉 and then me… Yeah, that sounds about right.

  4. mollyelizabeth Says:

    good to keep you in mind, m’dear. Might need to keep you on speed dial for all the shit I break daily.

    Hahaha, many things that I learned to fix were things that I broke. All you need is a few basic tools. A screwdriver for taking things apart. A pair of pliers for grabbing onto things and giving them a good yank. A hammer to smash up all the evidence. And super glue and duct tape for putting things back together.

  5. Red Says:

    You, deary, is my hero!!
    Dont let a man do it. Don’t hire someone to do it. Do it your damn self, YES!!!!
    I be the same way.

  6. trishatruly Says:

    I figure if some moron with his buttcrack showing and his beer belly hangin’ can do it, so can I, and probably better!

  7. betme Says:

    Red ~ I knew you had it in you. (but don’t call me your hero until you see my work) 😉

    Trisha ~ I would end up with another guy like the plumber from hell. I figure if you can paint a barn I can put up a few shingles.

  8. Sarah Says:

    I’m like you, I’ll attempt to fix anything at least once. Usually that’s all that I need cuz I’m stubborn like that.

    I also love that you have enough books to make it up onto the roof.

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