Boyz in my Hood

… And other random thoughts…

Many, many thoughts are playing a wicked game of Pong in my brain this morning.

Technology – It appears that 1 in 5 Americans have never sent an email. related article I envy those who are not chained to the Internet. From peeking at my email this morning, I feel that I more than compensate for the 20 percenters and am willing to share with them.

Logic in Billing– I snicker whenever I open an invoice and find the amount due is less than the 42 cents. The vendor has thus lost money by generating an invoice and placing postage on same said piece of paper. Today’s offender sent an invoice for 24 cents … 😀  And then I grimace because I will be spending 42 cents to send them their check for 24 cents. We do about 600,000.00 to 700,000.00 in business with them every year. If I ran the world, I would wash these senseless transactions.

Insulting others – How do I choose who to pick on? I realize I use the same system as comedians… I chose you simply because you were available. Actually it is more fun to pick on myself because I know that I can handle my own wrath wit. (And I am always available)

Copyright Infringement – I was reading a comment left on  Joan’s Blog about plagiarism and felt the urge to crawl under a boulder. I am a flagrant offender. It is not that I ever want anyone to think the work is my own; I am usually lazy about posting appropriate links. I simply add that “I read somewhere” … Lazy, lazy… and very wrong of me. I am not calling out Joan. She is very good about posting links.

Sometime back I received an email from the attorney of an author/photo journalist whom I admire and link to on numerous occasions on a different blog. He left his address, phone number, and name with a request for me to contact him as soon as possible. I had a sinking feeling that he did not want information on how to forward the royalties of the Author he represented.  It was not as bad as I had presumed. It turned out that he was concerned for my safety because of a threat I had received in correlation to one of the author’s articles. (There are some very twisted people in the world) The author agreed to let me slide on posting a couple of his pictures, as I was very good at linking back to him. *whew*

I am making a pact to be more diligent in giving props to respective borrowing on the net.

Cleaning my ring– Glancing down and noticing what resembles mud around the diamond on my ring, I reach for a drafting pencil (.5mm lead HB should be the correct hardness for mud removal). *note to self* lead adheres to filmy surface of dirty ring.   

Crazy Dreams part 1– I wrote myself a note when I first woke up this morning. It simply states, “People do not want to listen to you when you call them a dumb ass, not even in dreams.” Unfortunately I cannot remember this particular dream… Safe to assume that I might have tried to get someone to respond with derogatory verbiage and they did not respond as hoped. *shrugs* I need to become a better note taker as “Slag” has absolutely no meaning to me 4 hours after writing.

Crazy Dreams part 2– This was one of those ‘wakes up in a fear induced sweat’ dreams. I am riding a city bus and I am carrying a 5 gallon propane tank that needs filled. As you can see, my dreams are not logic based. I have nothing that runs on propane and I have never ridden a city bus. The bus driver lets me out in a hood that makes my hood look like Disneyland. There are thugs holding up people everywhere I turn. For some strange reason I am being followed by my son who is only 5 or 6 years old. I make him wait at the bus station while a walk across the street to the propane place. The guy filling my tank is too busy trying to pour pink lemonade back and forth from his glass to a big water cooler… and growling that the lemonade is mixing with the water. All this time I have a sinking feeling that my son is in danger, and I can’t find where I left him.

Even when your children are all grown up, you never stop having worries and nightmares regarding their safety.

… and finally The Boyz in My Hood– Sunday Mr. J stopped in to visit one of his buddies and I made a quick dash to pick up some starter fish for the new aquarium. I also picked up some milk, eggs, orange juice and a variety of fresh produce to get us thru the week. I was gone about an hour tops, I pulled into my driveway and another car was sitting there. My heart leaped into my throat. Seriously, I had to gather a bus load of moxy in order to get out of my car.

I swear, this was the first time in a month that I left the house without a gun and I felt so vulnerable.  

Sitting in my driveway were three gang-bangers. Survival mode kicked in (sort of). I had to decide which items in my car were worth leaving behind, as there was no way I could load my arms up and still be able to defend myself if they got out of the car. I picked up my purse, the fish and the milk and beat a hasty path to my gate. Once inside the gate I hit the alarm to my car and went inside. As I was putting the milk in the fridge, my car alarm went off.

I peeked out the window and saw them looking in my direction and laughing. I really don’t know what the smart thing to do would be. So, I did the other thing… I grabbed my gun and my camera, stepped out in plain view and snapped a few pictures of them and went back in the house. I decided that if I am going to be robbed (or worse) I am going to provide the police with a good lead.

I think they were there waiting on Mike to come home so that they could buy some shit from him…

To coin a comment left on an earlier post by Taoist Biker … My  ‘Operation: Exodus’ cannot come soon enough.  

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16 Responses to “Boyz in my Hood”

  1. Just a Mom Says:

    Hmmm….I’m wondering if the crazy dreams were the results of the mimosas from the day before?!

    Mimosas cannot be the cause of bad dreams… That would be just plain wrong.

  2. mistermanly Says:

    Hi betme,

    My son is in law school, and I have frequent dreams of attending his graduation, after which he walks up to his Mother and me and hands us a subpoena to a civil action he has filed because we were bad parents. The mind is a funny thing, but I’m not laughing.

    Mister Manly
    I must apologize, but from the outside (where I am sitting) that is very funny. Not that it would be funny in real life or if I were dreaming it happened to me. I will keep you in my file as knowing an up and coming lawyer. One can never have too many friends on their side during possible litigations of the future 😉

  3. joanharvest Says:

    A stranger did call me out for not leaving a link to where I got my “fun facts about toilet pape” which happened to be Wikipedia. He told me “I had some stones” for doing it. I told him if I had some stones, more than likely I would lose them because my memory sucks and that’s why there wasn’t a link or mention of where I got the info. I also sent him an e-mail because I wanted him to know for sure that it wasn’t intentional and I’m not perfect. I do make mistakes. I got the impression he doesn’t.

    The Boyz in your hood scare the hell out of me. I can’t believe you have to carry a gun. Not that I think you shouldn’t. Oh no, I would carry an M16 assault rifle which could possibly double as a cane as long as I don’t shoot myself with it.

    Joan, I knew that you were not attempting to pass the info off as your own. We all enjoy being recognized for something that we do or say. But, I did not see a reason for that individual to become so angry. If I recite someone’s poetry or parts of their post, I do make a conscious effort to link to them. My worst offense is posting pictures that I Google and not linking the original source. As for the M16, it is too bulky and does not go with my shoes. I prefer a sexy compact Glock.

  4. joanharvest Says:

    toilet paper not toilet pape!!

  5. kaylee Says:

    hmmm nice post 🙂 how you been?

    The big question is: Are you ready for the move?! I am doing well and hope you are too.

  6. K. Trainor Says:

    Good Gravy! I just want to move you into the rental next door here in my rural, calm, leave-your-house-unlocked corner of the world. 😦

    Rural… What a dream. I have not been able to leave my doors unlocked since I moved from Wyoming.

  7. morethananelectrician Says:

    Logic in billing-Damn Accountants! (I see Allison on your list of readers…no offense intended).

    Crazy Dreams Part 1-Try “Ass-hat”! I have been meaning to us that more, but I borrowed it from someone, which might make me guilty of copyright infringement?!??!?!

    As far as your driveway visitors, I am glad everything was alright. I don’t want to get too deep into our 2nd Amendment rights, but I am glad to see you taking an “assertive” approach to the safety of your family. If there was an issue, how long would it have taken the local police to get to your house? If their response time is longer than 10 seconds, you could have been in trouble.

    Allison is a sweety and she will overlook your stab. But she might take a little jab back at you if she reads this. 😉

    I have been taking a series of self defense courses and tactical shooting classes. I feel fairly comfortable with my handgun, but am angry that I may be forced to use it. Dang-gummed ‘ass-hats’ are really ruining my Zen.

  8. Sarah Says:

    I often fear copyright issues, therefore I try (emphasis on the try) not to use other people’s stuff, but I’m usually pretty good about about linking back if I do. I have discovered toothpicks are the appropriate “mud removal from diamond rings” tool.

    And if you weren’t so well armed, I would most likely be more afraid for your safety. I’m still afraid, just not as afraid as I would be for an unarmed person.

    I am making a real effort to stop borrowing others pictures without linking. Thanks for the toothpick suggestion. I was going to use the boss’s tooth brush. 😀

    Mr. J said he is more afraid for said attacker than he is for me. I know he is joking, but we both do really well on the moving targets now.

  9. curlywurlygurly Says:

    i usually try to cite my sources (it’s the english teacher in me) but i don’t always remember. bad me. you’re inspiring me to do better on this score.
    🙂
    Wahoo, I inspire people in doing good as well as naughty.

  10. Peter Parkour Says:

    I blatantly stole this comment and if you don’t like it you can kiss my ass. 😈 😛 🙂 😉 HA!

    “Kiss my Ass!” Don’t we need to give credit to Whitney Houston for this?

  11. Don Smith Says:

    A friend of mine is a preacher, and he says that he has this dream that he gets up to preach, and everyone leaves their seats and walks out. Last night I dreamt that I was a catalytic converter under a F250 Ford Pickup parked in the Panhandle of Oklahoma … When I woke up this morning, I was exhausted!

    Plagerizm? No Honor amongst thieves. Really used to hack me off, then I realized, “If it wasn’t any good, they would not be stealing it.” I just love to read …. “Ramon wrote a good piece today on this or that, then they are dumb enough to MY link in there.” Ramon didn’t write anything … I wrote it.

    Okay, one more and I am outta here. Two Goldfish are arguing about God. One says there is a God and the other of course, says there isn’t. So the first one says, “Oh yeah, I can prove it. There IS a God.” The second fish says, “Okay, prove it.”

    The first fish looks at him and inquires …. “Who changes our water?”

    Later

    DS
    Don ~ I have always wondered if the congregation would all be struck by lightning if they all got up and left a sermon. 😀

    I hope you went to Ramon’s website and posted a comment.

    Thanks for the aquarium funny. It helps a great deal with my God complex. 😉

  12. betme Says:

    I forgot to add to the post; If I ever borrow something from any of y’alls (I love that word) posts, please call me to the rug on it. I promise it was an over sight and I will amend the ‘Oooops’ immediately.

  13. mistermanly Says:

    Hi b,

    My son won’t be of any legal value to you unless you’re situated in Louisiana, as he has been smitten by New Orleans and refuses to leave. Oh, and that dream sequence was intended to be funny and cheer you up. In truth, our son had a fabulous childhood, a fantastic education in private schools although we barely managed to afford it, paid most of his own way through a four year degree at Tulane, and did well enough to get a full ride scholarship to Loyola Law School. My real dreams are that he will win some giant lawsuit, get insanely rich from it, and we can retire early 🙂

    I do, by the way, like your choice of firearms. I am currently saving up for a Glock .45 ACP. While this gun is not as manly as the new .50 caliber pistol which has recently come on the market ( it has 4 times the muzzle energy of a .44 magnum!) I prefer to shoot intruders with something that probably won’t go all the way through them instead of something that may make a large hole through the neighbor’s house down the block. It is, after all, manly to respect your neighbors.

    As to y’all, the South wouldn’t be the South without it.

    On a parting note, feel free to make yourself at home with anything I post. That anyone would consider the material worth using is payment enough 🙂

    Mister Manly

  14. betme Says:

    Mr. M ~ I will still keep him in mind for the traveling I do thru Looseranna. You don’t have to share my nickname with him. I need him to remain on my side. 😉

    Tulane and Loyola are both great schools. Yes, I will definitely keep him on virtual retainer.

    As for guns… I have a few. I do most of my target shooting with my 40 S&W. It is a pretty good gun and I like the balance. However it is too large for concealment unless I begin dressing baggy-saggy like the thugs in my hood. I love the Glock. It is a solid gun. Mine is the 9mm. I am looking at a compact 45 for Mr. J. My other handgun is a Bersa 380. I like the accuracy, but don’t want to have to depend on it. It tends to jam and I don’t want to try and stop bad guys by throwing it at them. For home protection I have the Mossberg 500… and if things go crazy I have a 1903 Springfield. (and then there is the list of Mr. J’s guns)

    I had no idea that there was a 50 cal pistol on the market. Is it available to the general public?

    I will be back to your blog and will be bringing refreshments… That is what us girlie girls do. 🙂

  15. mistermanly Says:

    Hi b,

    The gun in question is a S&W Model 500 .50-caliber Magnum. Here’s a link: http://www.popularmechanics.com/outdoors/sports/1277336.html

    You’re always welcome. Give me a couple of days notice, and I’ll have BBQ waiting. Give me a couple of months, and you can sample my home brew 🙂

    Mister Manly

  16. betme Says:

    Om My Gosh, that thing is wicked. If I could get all the bad guys to line up single file the 50 would pass thru them all… I can’t even imagine what the recoil would be. Thanks for the link.

    BTW ~ I will wait paitently for a sample of the home brew.

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