Mini Rants

Wednesday is my normal bitch and moan day… However, I did more than my fair share yesterday. So today I am going to throw out some mini rants.

***Edit: No more emails… That is not an actual picture of MY teeth. In fact every picture on this post was borrowed from the net. (even the genius in the last picture… I know, I know… looks so much like me)

1. My teeth ~ Oh woe is me. I have sacrificed the pearly whites to years of coffee drinking. They became a lovely shade of mocha latte.

Which is very cool if I am trying to match fall colored outfits with my teeth. This past year my vanity got the best of me and I had them puppies whitened. I love my smile again…

Now for the whine/rant/woe fest… I am helplessly addicted to brushing my teeth. I am so afraid of stains that I brush a minimum of 6 times per day… sometimes 8 or 9 times. (I lose track) Alas, a well meaning co-worker ruined my high by telling me that I am destroying the enamel on my teeth with all the brushing.

SHIT! Shit! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

2. Iron ~ Is it helping me or poisoning me. The doctor said I need it desperately to ensure oxygen is reaching my brain. From some of my posts, it is painfully obvious that I am low on oxygen. So now I find out that I may be poisoning myself with all the iron. My liver may have tons of it stored up causing many of the same symptoms of a person with low iron.

 The other thing to note is that hemoglobin is not iron! Yes, you are anemic if your hemoglobin is low but that does not necessarily mean your iron is low. Indeed, what might be happening is that the iron is collecting in storage instead of going into hemoglobin. You are actually iron-loaded and need iron removed despite the anemia. The anemia should be treated with B vitamins, especially B12, B6 and folic acid. Many patients with anemia are dying of iron overload, and some are hastened to their death by their physicians who give them more iron.

Even a small amount of excess iron can damage heart and brain and other storage sites in the body and lead to heart attack or stroke.

WELL FUCK ME! What is it Doc?

3. This is not really a rant, more a grimace at my poor dieting attempts. I AM going to lose the 10 lbs by the first of July, even if I have to remove a limb… The weight is coming off. Last night I decided to go thru the house and rid it of all the junk food. Chocolate, Potato Chips, Ice Cream, Girl Scout Cookies… etc.

But I had to stop about half way thru because I was getting full. hehehe… OK, I didn’t really eat ALL of the junk food, only the chocolate. There is no way in Hell I could ever justify throwing away Chocolate. A bag of chips and some ice cream, maybe.

Anyway today is day two of my almost strict eating plan. Last night I made baked chicken and steamed veggies. I also made Mr. J some smashed taters (he is not on a diet)… and I was good… ALMOST. I did lick the spoon, but it was not my fault. I had to make sure I had added enough cream and butter.

4. I have a fairly decent grasp of the English language, yet certain words get tripped up in my head. I am cool if I am reading the word. But, trying to think of certain words as they float just out of reach is driving me batty. Last night I asked Mr. J if he would pick me up some of my special tea and I could not for the life of me pronounce the word MEDICINAL. For some retarded ass reason the word kept coming out meCIDinal. I knew it was wrong, but couldn’t wrap my brain around the correct pronunciation.

I often have the same problem with the word Cathedral… For some odd reason it wants to come out as CATHedrawl… short e, with the emphasis on the first syllable.  This one is more an issue when I see it in print as it follows no logic in the English rules. (there are rules, right?)

5. And the last mini rant is merely another *sigh* point in my life. Once upon a time, long, long ago. I was asked to participate in a study. I went thru a series of IQ tests. I was not told the results at first, instead I was called back in for more tests. Surprisingly my scores ranged from 155-171. Over the years I have received numerous mailings from Tulane University asking me to help with various research projects and inviting me to alumni events.

This has always been a J family joke. When we hear that Tulane is playing any Texas college, I have to cheer for Tulane. Last week I received another request asking me to come in for more tests… I am going to pass. I am sure my brain could not even throw out enough guesses to score me a 43. I will continue to pretend that I am a genius… or as we like to say, a purty good guesser.

 

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11 Responses to “Mini Rants”

  1. Just a Mom Says:

    “But I had to stop about half way thru because I was getting full.” That is too funny! You must be going on the SEE Food diet!

  2. trishatruly Says:

    I think you really are a genius; you just refuse to accept it. (It takes one to know one!! hehehehehe) Yeah, when I was in school I was in all the AP (Advanced Placement) classes and once our algebra teacher gave us all our IQ test results telling us to go home and thank our parents for our genetic material. He was later admonished severely by the school administration for having done that as we were not supposed to have had access to that information! Too late. We all walked around for days with our heads over-inflated by our massive egos! 😛

  3. Luke Says:

    Thanks, I can always use a good laugh, and this post gave me several.

  4. K. Trainor Says:

    Who are you trying to kid? Only a true genius could produce such snappy humor. 😀

  5. Sarah Says:

    Years of smoking and then subsequent coffee drinking had turned my teeth the same lovely shade yours had been. I had them whitend for my girlfriends wedding (I was in it) and have been ever so careful since then. Of course not smoking anymore has been a huge help, but I can’t kick the coffee if I wanted to. The Listerine whitening strips are pretty good if you want to scale back on the brushing.

    I have issues pronouncing Animals, it always comes out Amnimals.

    I could tell that you were a genius all along. 😉

  6. Traci Says:

    LOL — from one compulsive tooth-brusher to another: screw the enamel. The real danger is gum recession, which I have, and which I am afraid to ask the dentist about. I imagine some torture chamber type procedure where they do a gum transplant. Ew! So in short … be careful. I love your blog!

  7. betme Says:

    JAMom ~ Yes, I am on the See food diet and all the commercials are killing me. You never notice how many people talk about food in their blogs until you chose to deny yourself.

    Trisha ~ So true! I could tell that you too are radiating triple bonus IQ points. We brilliant peeps have such a hard time toning our magnificentness to a level that does not blind others.

    Oh crap, I fell out of my chair trying to pull on my hip waders to avoid the deep bullshit oozing around me.

    Luke ~ Gosh, I am happy to have you laughing with me. Want some Girl Scout cookies?

    K. T. ~ You say Genius, I say Potato… (sorry, this diet is making my Styrofoam cup look yummy.)

    Sarah ~ Kind of crazy huh? We know coffee will stain them but we refuse to stop sipping. Thanks for the Listerine strip suggestion. I wondered if they actually work.

    “I could tell that you were a genius all along.” ehem… I am perhaps the worst spelling genius on record. If it were not for spell check, my posts would be impossibly, improbably, implausible to follow. 😀 (I was trying to make up a word, but they were all taken already. I suppose a genius would have known this.)

    Traci ~ Holy cow! I don’t even want to think about going in for the dreaded “Gum Implant” 😉 The dentist brought his assistants over to see how healthy my gums are and how clean my tongue is. I was beaming with pride and asked for a gold star on my chart.

    Of course everyone’s fingers were in my mouth and my request sounded a bit like “Ga a a a ou aw?”

  8. leisha Says:

    I am a mad teeth brusher as well

  9. Sarah Says:

    Kind of crazy? The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over expecting different results. I think this is what happens to me every morning when I make my coffee.

    Listerine strips good!

    The ability to spell and being a genius do not go hand in hand, trust me. 😉

  10. Peter Parkour Says:

    Pretty teeth and smart. 🙂 You could be in of them moving picture shows. 😉 But if you don’t mind, I’d like you to stay right here, entertaining me. :mrgreen:

  11. betme Says:

    Leisha ~ Mad as in crazy or as in angry? A little crazy never hurts (I hope)

    Sarah ~ WHAT? The results are not going to be different? Crap! 😀

    Ok, so we will just embrace our brilliance and move forward, hoping others can step over the mis-spellings and get the meaning of the words.

    Spidey ~ Ah, but it is comments such as yours that provide the real entertainment.

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