Ten Reasons that they stopped by…

Funny searches and my side notes. I almost feel bad for those who stumble in, unaware of what they are in for. Bawahahahahahaha…. My Bad.

 

 

1.) “what is the name of the little balls”

Well now, that could be any of a number of names; golf balls, nuts, gonads, testicles or testes, scrotum, walnuts, nads, man tonsils, knackers, stones, cojones  … or was the person looking for a proper name such as Harry or Salty?

 

2.) “warm stream of pee”

I am just saying for the record, Anyone who is searching for “warm stream of pee” has issues that only someone who is equally twisted should address. Y’all know who you are. Step up and address this persons needs. 😉

 

 

3.) “notknowing where things are made”

Honey, don’t feel bad. I don’t know where they are made, where I put them, or even what it is that I am looking for half the time. Perhaps you should lower your standards to – “Does It Taste Good?” … and just let the rest of the issues slide.

 

4.) “sexy suckling babies”

To whomever was searching for the Sexy Suckling Babies, please contact me directly. Daddies can be sexy and Mommies can be sexy. However babies are not, nor can they be considered SEXY. Babies are sweet, cute, beautiful, adorable, snuggly, and loveable. They are not, I repeat, NOT SEXY. That is sick dude, in the worst way.

 

5.) “she peepee dance;

I love this one! Some people like to waltz, others might do the jitterbug. But, I am the queen of the PeePee dance. Step, step, squeeze your knees together… step, step, side hop. Come on now, Everybody do it with me… Step, step, squeeze…

 

(If you are not very good at the PeePee dance, you can always get into #2 above)

 

6.) lil will my dung”

What the… I have been scratching my head all morning trying to figure out what this person is really looking for. Perhaps dung is a pet name. You know, like saying “Mr. J, my love.” But this person said “Lil Will, my dung.”

 

It is kind of sweet, in such a way that it is unique and inventful, although not so much in painting an aromatic picture of  romance. 

 

7.) “take texans seriously”

Come on… This goes without sayin. Not just because we are a tad bit crazed and will open the can of whoop ass just to watch ya squirm. No, it goes much deeper than that. Oh Hell, I’m not ‘splainin to nobody whyz or howz of us Texans. I’m just sayin, Take us seriously or don’t. Juss don’t be runnin to us all cryin an shit when you get yur lil self hurt. Just sayin. (spoken in my bestestest Texan)

 

8.) “my son has just run off with my tampons”

Momma taught me, Judge notlest you be judged. But I’m just saying, “Honey I think you might have been feeding your boy too many fruitloops.” He done went “Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs” on ya.

 

For your own needs, ya might want to start getting him his own box and keep yours locked up… Just sayin.

 

9.) “i did a striptease in front of my dad”

Girl???  (I am assuming you are a girl) What the hell is wrong with you? And What the Hell is wrong with your daddy? Shit, I can almost hear Dueling Banjos playing as I read this. When it comes to turning your daddy on, just say “NOOOOOOOOOO.”  Make him go to the strip club with the other daddies. 

  

10.) “turned on by my doctor”

hahahaha… What woman does not get a slight flush at the idea of her doctor examining the adventure park? Say it isn’t true and make me feel like the only other perv. I am going back again soon, just to be felt up in a sexy clinical kind of way.

They say that it takes all kinds to make the World go ’round. I am happy that y’all are coming here for your information! Y’all iz crazy.

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9 Responses to “Ten Reasons that they stopped by…”

  1. americandust Says:

    Nice page… check out my fakenewsblog if you get a chance, just click on my name. And yes, I know this is a shameless self-plug, but I’m honest.

  2. kaylee Says:

    HEY HOw ARE YOU? I admit to one of those but i not saying which……

  3. joanharvest Says:

    That was really funny. I’m still trying to understand # 6. That has me baffled.

  4. Red Says:

    hahahhaaa! I peepee dance tooooo.
    And yes, those damn search terms are hilarious .. I get a bunch of strange ones.

  5. betme Says:

    American Dust ~ Plug away. You have a fun blog. 😉

    Kaylee ~ Please tell me it is not the strip tease for your dad! And if it is… DON’T TELL ME. 😀

    Joan ~ Maybe I should just google it myself and see what comes up.

    Red ~ I can imagine some of the searches that you get. I think I will throw out random words on peoples blogs so that they will get more crazy searches.

  6. thegirlfromtheghetto Says:

    Dude, all of your old posts must be wild. I will have to spend a good few hours on here. I myself love to find out how people get to my site … it is weird what people search for on the internet.

  7. kaylee2 Says:

    No it is not that one 😉

  8. Sarah Says:

    I never get fun search terms like this. But, on the plus side we do the same pee pee dance. Fun!

  9. K. Trainor Says:

    “Perhaps you should lower your standards to – “Does It Taste Good?” … and just let the rest of the issues slide.”

    OMGosh! I have tears in my eyes!!! ROTFLMAO!

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