Relieving Stress

My Ten on Thursday is a compilation of self help methods to relieve stress from your life. (Use at your own discretion)

1.) Golf ~ Some say this is a stress inducer, but they are going about it in the wrong way. When golfing, keep score the Mrs. J way:

10 points –  Hitting another golfer’s cart while it is moving.  Add 15 points if the ball hits an occupant in the cart.

25 points – hitting a golfer on the next green over. Subtract 10 points if the wounded golfer throws his clubs at you.

5 points – hitting a bird, squirrel, or dog. Animals are not worth the same point value as humans because we should not be cruel to animals. The exception to the rule would be if said animal is frothing at the mouth, in which case the point value triples. (provided you live to get your rabies shots)

No points are given for hitting houses, but the sound of the glass shattering can offer a surreal feeling of joy. High score wins. (not that anyone else will play along with you.)

2.)  One of my favorite stress relief tips – Take a relaxing bath.  Add music, candles and a glass of your favorite bubbly. Close the door and forget about everything else for an hour or so. When the pounding on the door becomes a nuisance, simply crank up the tunes and pour another glass of bubbly.

3.) Laugh. This is important. Laugh until you pee yourself and then laugh because you peed yourself. If you cannot find someone else to laugh at, be able to laugh at yourself. Hysterical laughter in the middle of the grocery store (when shopping by yourself) is the best. You can then laugh at all the dolts who are staring at you. It does not matter the reason, find someone to trip if you have to… but, LAUGH.

4.) Shoot a gun. Every time I pull the trigger a little stress is released. By the time that the barrel is smoking hot and I have imagined the demise of a complete third world country, my stress is gone for the day. Couple this with #3 – laughing in a manic sort of way, and everyone seems to leave you alone which is a bonus stress reducer.

5.) Go to the beach  and throw shells at the sea gulls. This works better if you have been feeding them bread for the past 3 months. When you tire of the simplicity of this game, move up to my favorite beach game – tossing annoying children into the surf and then run like hell. Their parents tend to get persnikety. Don’t worry, they never catch you as they are too busy playing the game of – rescue the tax break. 

6.) Get a massage. This should be done on a daily basis, happy ending and all. (I’m just saying)

7.) Eat a pound of really good chocolate, slowly letting the goodness melt in your mouth, one piece at a time. If the phone rings at any time during your chocolate indulgence, simply start over with a new box of chocolates.

8.) They claim that physical exercise is one of the most effective ways of relieving stress. When we physically exert ourselves by having a wild romp in the hay, the body releases endorphins that are similar in nature to opiates. (or maybe you could just take opiates.) *shrug* I am not a doctor, but just thinking, why go for a fake feeling of opiates when the real thing is out there?
9.) The next two go together; take off your shoes whenever possible and submerse yourself in aromatherapy. Obviously the aromatherapy will be needed to mask the funky green cloud which is hovering around your toes.

10.) Take breaks from work. I think a week off every three days should do the trick. If the boss becomes a dick about it, remind him that he is clouding up your zen zone.

It can be much easier to make changes and sustain those changes when you get regular support and love from close friends and family. If they are not willing to give you the love that you need, trade them in for a more supporting cast.  Hey, someone out there must love you in a supportive stalker-kind-of-adoring way. Don’t settle.




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13 Responses to “Relieving Stress”

  1. msmollie Says:

    Ooh, I’m good I did no. 10 and have a no. 6 scheduled later today. Although I think I’ll go without the happy ending, just doesn’t feel right having all that good stranger action and then picking up my three-year old from preschool. or maybe……

  2. Allison Says:

    I think I have # 7 mastered. I would even go so far as to say that the phone should never be answered mid-chocolate consumption. Whatever it is, it can surely wait. Kindly leave your voicemail while I indulge in my Ghirardelli square, thank you.

  3. joanharvest Says:

    I have tagged you for a meme. No pressure. Do it if you want or not. My blog explains it.

    I love your stress relievers. I like # 4

  4. betme Says:

    MsMollie ~ You are letting your morales get in the way of finding your happy place. Although I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable if your child asked, “Mommy, what did you do today?” Then you would have to decide if honesty is still the best policy.

    Allison ~ The problem is the ring of the phone knocks me completely out of my ‘happy place’. I am proud of you for keeping it to one square! A true inspiration.

    Joan ~ Thanks for the tag. Your lists are so cool!

    I like #4 as well. Last night I scored a 224 at the range! 49 points higher than the grade I need when I take the real test next Wednesday.

  5. Allison Says:

    Well, maybe more than one 😉

  6. Lucky Says:

    Man, now I want some chocolate. Good list, Lady! 🙂

  7. jonathan Says:

    I just miss, no. 1, 4 & 5.. 🙂

  8. trishatruly Says:

    I’m copying this list and posting it on my refrigerator door for whenever my own stress takes over. Just reading it made me feel better!

  9. Peter Parkour Says:

    Great list. If I weren’t so tired right now I’d bore you with line after line of what I believe to be witty/funny comments. Alas I am about to fall out of chair, so I bid you farewell. 😉

  10. betme Says:

    Lucky ~ I heard from a fairly reliable source that Allison has a co-worker who hordes chocolate. Wanna go with me and act as a distraction?

    Jonathan ~ Dude, you need to figure out a way to get back into it. Too much stress is just bah-yad. *Trying to figure out how to type words with the Southern twang.

    Trisha ~ Did you read the list and laugh until you peed? *just checking… 😀

    Peter ~ Does falling out of your chair mean no one will be behind the wheel? And you never bore me… EVER!

  11. Sarah Says:

    I definately have the hysterical laughter nailed. I’m known to walk around a store (seemingly) by myself and laughing about random crap. My girlfriend saw my car in the parking lot of Target one day and managed to track me down in the store and caught me being crazy. She thought it was hilarious.

  12. lily Says:

    That’s an interesting post. Here’s a website that is useful for those who wish to overcomepost traumatic stress. has plenty of tips and guides which you can use to improve yur condition. Hope this helps ya.

  13. betme Says:

    Sarah ~ That is so funny. Work on your kegels so that when you reach my age the laughter will not cause you to pee your pants. (Unless that is the look you are going for)

    Lily ~ I will check out the links this afternoon. Thanks for sharing them with us.

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