The Web Crapper

(Keeping my Wednesday Rant ‘toilet’ theme.)

Before I begin, let me reiterate: I am not a nice person, but I play one in real life. Deep down, I have ugly evil thoughts. I call it my “Good Angel” vs my “Evil Devil” aka split personality.

So, in order to keep balance in my life you get to see the nasty side of me. For I have vowed to only show the nice side to the real world. You are in here visiting the pseudo version of me. Or perhaps, this is the real me and the version I project to the public is a fraud.

Hmmm… something for me to ponder. Deep thinking on the toilet material.

On the outside I am saying in my sweetest voice, “Why sure, I’ll find that file for you, right away!”

On the inside I am saying, “Why sure, you dumb ass. I have nothing more important to do except straighten out the three accounts you screwed up, refigure your proposal, and calm down the client that you just insulted. I would be happier than a fresh pile of dog crap to get up and get you that file. The very same file that is sitting on your filing cabinet where you left it. And while I am in there you can kiss my (&$%$%&$*@$$”^$$*@%$$) ”

I just noticed that I tend to use the dollar sign a lot in my censored cursing. Freud may think this is subliminal. I know it is just bad typing.

In regards to my post title, I have found that the Internet is a great way to express the side I try to keep hidden, to unload crap. I am not the only one. Many Internet friends tell me they are really quiet, shy individuals and that I would never believe how sweet they are in person. If I am any indication of this trend then Oh My Gosh there are many people out there all with an evil twin. =-O  Brings a new meaning to the old question, “Can Timmy come out to play?”

Every once in a great while, when I am feeling a tad ignorant, (it does not happen often) I will read a news story on the Internet that moves me enough to open the chat about it link. I don’t say a word. I just go in and read what people think about the event.

I remember opening the chat after reading “Tsunami Claims More Than 44,000 Lives”. They were chatting about birth control, female subordinates, and spanking. (I think this is in regards to parenting, but it could have been a sexual discussion. I’m not sure because I cleared out) I was in the topic room for almost ten minutes. Not once did the discussion of aid to the survivors, sadness for the victims, or fear of disease come up.

When we were struck with the catastrophic event we have titled “9/11”, we were met with world wide support. When it happens somewhere else we utter, “Gosh, they shouldn’t live so close to the sea.” Sure, and I would not have a chocolate addiction if I moved farther from the grocery store. (I know, there is absolutely no correlation between my addiction and the flood victims situation)

Over 44,000 people were killed. It numbs me. I know, this is the Internet and we can say whatever we want. But, Hog Shit. When people need our help, we should step up. If we don’t have the monetary means, then the least we can do (the very least) is show a sign of support thru our words.

We use the Internet to say what we want with total disregard to who we offend! Don’t ya just love it? I don’t know these people and they don’t know me. I can tell the world to just fuck off and they can tell me to bite myself.

And in the real world, we smile politely and get up and get the file. -P

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11 Responses to “The Web Crapper”

  1. Just a Mom Says:

    Red Rover, Red Rover send Timmy on over! I am guilty of file getting with a smile myself!

  2. LL Says:

    On my blog, what you see is what you get. I CAN be polite in polite company, but seriously, the crazy shit DOES slip out occasionally, even in those settings. haha

  3. betme Says:

    Mom ~ It is alright as long as you keep balance in the universe by thinking up evil plots against those who might cause you stress.

    LL ~ That is why we love you. You have absolutely no problem calling a shit-head a shit-head when needed. You are very inspirational to us web mumblers.

  4. Lucky Says:

    See, I have to let the crazy out every now and then. I yelled at my boss yesterday. AND SHE SHUT UP…and even *gasp* thanked me for my help. I would be a raving maniac if I didn’t let the crazy bitch out of here every now and then. Hats off to you for being able to tame yours. Sometimes, mine gets me in trouble.

    P.S. I miss talking to you!! HUGGS!

  5. Sarah Says:

    I always smile while getting the files and think the same crazy thoughts while doing it. I let the crazy out while I’m driving.

  6. Peter Parkour Says:

    Your devil ain’t so evil, or your good angel has your devil in check. 😉 You don’t even allow yourself to actually cuss on here. It says NC-17 at the top of the page. This is the place to do it. Go on, get a little crazy, but just a little. You wouldn’t want to scare us all off. 😛

    I was in total shock after 9/11 for days. I walked around like a zombie wonder what was going to happen next, was this the beginning of the end, and other such freaked out thoughts.

    When I heard about the tsunami victims I was in shock again, but this time was different. It wasn’t as tangible, because it didn’t happen here, but I was still sad for them non the less. If you would have found me in a chat room titled “tsunami victims” you would have found me on topic. 😐

    Rant baby! Let the monster out. Grrr!!!

  7. betme Says:

    Lucky ~ Good for you on standing up! You really need to quit working so hard. It is cutting into your blog time and upsetting the rotation of the planet. Letting the bitch out for an occasional walk is a GOOD THING! Otherwise she might start chewing on your insides.

    HUGS back atcha. 🙂

    Sarah ~ Traffic is my favorite time to release the bitch. (not like I have a choice… she perches on my shoulder as soon as I put the key in the ignition.) If our coworkers could read minds they would be afraid. 😉

    Peter ~ That is because I am too fucking nice to have a potty mouth. 😀

    I have to believe that most people are somewhat compassionate, and the chat boards are overrun by adolescent terds who spend too much time in their parent’s basement.

    … And as hard as I work on releasing the monster, another one slips in and takes his place. OY, it is a vicious circle.

  8. Allison Says:

    Even if you wanted to leave a comment on those chat link, you would not be permitted. I’m convinced that your IQ must be no more than 65 to contribute to such forums.

  9. betme Says:

    Allison ~ Perhaps you are right. I have thought about getting into a silly, you’re a pooh-pooh head debate with people in those places, but I don’t think they would understand my sarcasm.

  10. Peter Parkour Says:

    No potty mouth? It’s the thought that counts. :mrgreen:

  11. betme Says:

    Hey, someone has to believe! 😉

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