Ten Reason that you should not be mean to me…
1.) It’s just not nice.
(I could leave it at that, but some people need more incentive)
2.) I Am Armed!
3.) With each passing year my patience level drops several points.
(and they will never know where to find your body)
4.) I am not afraid of you. With age comes a deeper appreciation for the expression, “Go ahead, make my day.”
5.) You have no idea if my Auntie Flo is visiting. A word to the ignorant, “That Bitch is CRAZY.” 
6.) I Am Armed!
This was at 15 yards at the range last night… For fun, I might let you get a little closer.
7.) You will be left off my Christmas card list.
(OK, so I never get around to actually sending out Christmas cards… The point is I will not send you any happy thoughts either.)
8.) I only share my fresh baked peanut butter chocolate-chip cookies with nice people.
9.) You never know which of my ever-so-sweet personalities you are going to be dealing with. 
(and Sybil does not play well with others.)
and
10.) I am too tired to chase you down and beat you with a stick, 
so I will reach for my 40… because…
I AM ARMED!
Tags: Guns, humor, Playing Nice, Psychotic
DisIsMyPlace 
April 10, 2008 at 5:21 pm |
Ha. A friend of mine was over the house and said,
“Wow, you got a lot of wooded area. Great for dumping bodies.”
But your ‘area’ would really help with fertilization. Hey? Let me look at that picture again. That garden looks a little TOO green to me.
Ah, I’ll just take a cookie and leave quietly if you don’t mind.
Thank you. Bye.
April 10, 2008 at 7:17 pm |
I love this list. Where did you get that picture of me with the cane? That’s how I walk around parking lots, ready to pounce on anyone who comes near me. I’m not a gun toting mama yet. I think I would shoot too many people “by accident”.
April 10, 2008 at 7:31 pm |
Nice shootin’ lady. I’m wicked accurate with a rifle, but pistols aren’t my thing.
April 11, 2008 at 8:28 am |
B&G ~ When I put that picture up, I instatly thought about the movie, “The Last Supper” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113613/
*I have noted and appreciate your politeness* hahaha… (or at least your ability to fake it)
Joan ~ about the picture, lets just say that I have friends in low places. 😉 I have carried a gun off and on since the stalker incident.
*No, I was not the stalker.*
Peter ~ I would have guessed that you would not need a weapon, with your Spidey skills and all. Seriously, it is cool that you are sharp with a rifle. I have not shot one in over 20-something years. (and yet, I can still feel the bruise it left on my shoulder.)
April 11, 2008 at 8:32 am |
You had me at #8 (cookies).
April 11, 2008 at 4:35 pm |
Way to go, my friend, a fellow shooter! I have my trusty .22 rifle, as well as my .22 pistol and my .45 pistol but like Mr. Parkour I am a far better shot with the rifle. I needs to get me out on the rifle range this summer and do some target practice!
Don’t mess with the Southern women!
April 14, 2008 at 12:46 am |
hahahaha…you know what? I don’t even care if you’re armed, I just don’t ever wanna fall on the short end of that delectable cookie-platter!!! 🙂
April 15, 2008 at 8:37 am |
Romi ~ I stopped in to check and noticed that the plate of cookies is still there. Did I scare everyone? bwahahahahaha…
(time to pat myself on the back)
Saturday I ran thru a practice test for shooting proficiency at the range. I need a 175 to pass the class, and scored a 205!!! I hope I shoot as well on the actual test.
April 15, 2008 at 12:38 pm |
mmmm .. guns and cookies.
April 16, 2008 at 10:29 pm |
LOL @ Joan… “by accident”
Girl…you are too funny. I love this!! hahahahaha
April 17, 2008 at 10:01 am |
Red ~ kind of remind you of the song “Sex and Candy”? 😀
Lucky ~ Joan’s wit always cracks me up…
April 19, 2008 at 9:53 pm |
You can’t fool me— that’s a squirt gun, and those are squirt holes!
Coooooookies….
April 21, 2008 at 8:47 am |
Dang Moonbeam ~ You figured me out. But we will keep this between the two of us. I want them to think I am dangerous. 😉