Give Me a Reason

Ten Reason that you should not be mean to me…

1.) It’s just not nice.
           (I could leave it at that, but some people need more incentive)

2.) I Am Armed!

3.) With each passing year my patience level drops several points.
           (and they will never know where to find your body)

4.) I am not afraid of you. With age comes a deeper appreciation for the expression, “Go ahead, make my day.” 

5.) You have no idea if my Auntie Flo is visiting. A word to the ignorant, “That Bitch is CRAZY.” -X

6.) I Am Armed!

This was at 15 yards at the range last night… For fun, I might let you get a little closer.

7.) You will be left off my Christmas card list.
          (OK, so I never get around to actually sending out Christmas cards… The point is I will not send you any happy thoughts either.) 

8.) I only share my fresh baked peanut butter chocolate-chip cookies with nice people.

9.) You never know which of my ever-so-sweet personalities you are going to be dealing with. -P
           (and Sybil does not play well with others.)

and

10.) I am too tired to chase you down and beat you with a stick,

so I will reach for my 40… because…

I AM ARMED!     

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13 Responses to “Give Me a Reason”

  1. boundandgags Says:

    Ha. A friend of mine was over the house and said,

    “Wow, you got a lot of wooded area. Great for dumping bodies.”

    But your ‘area’ would really help with fertilization. Hey? Let me look at that picture again. That garden looks a little TOO green to me.

    Ah, I’ll just take a cookie and leave quietly if you don’t mind.

    Thank you. Bye.

  2. joanharvest Says:

    I love this list. Where did you get that picture of me with the cane? That’s how I walk around parking lots, ready to pounce on anyone who comes near me. I’m not a gun toting mama yet. I think I would shoot too many people “by accident”.

  3. Peter Parkour Says:

    Nice shootin’ lady. I’m wicked accurate with a rifle, but pistols aren’t my thing.

  4. betme Says:

    B&G ~ When I put that picture up, I instatly thought about the movie, “The Last Supper” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113613/

    *I have noted and appreciate your politeness* hahaha… (or at least your ability to fake it)

    Joan ~ about the picture, lets just say that I have friends in low places. 😉 I have carried a gun off and on since the stalker incident.

    *No, I was not the stalker.*

    Peter ~ I would have guessed that you would not need a weapon, with your Spidey skills and all. Seriously, it is cool that you are sharp with a rifle. I have not shot one in over 20-something years. (and yet, I can still feel the bruise it left on my shoulder.)

  5. Allison Says:

    You had me at #8 (cookies).

  6. trishatruly Says:

    Way to go, my friend, a fellow shooter! I have my trusty .22 rifle, as well as my .22 pistol and my .45 pistol but like Mr. Parkour I am a far better shot with the rifle. I needs to get me out on the rifle range this summer and do some target practice!
    Don’t mess with the Southern women!

  7. romi41 Says:

    hahahaha…you know what? I don’t even care if you’re armed, I just don’t ever wanna fall on the short end of that delectable cookie-platter!!! 🙂

  8. betme Says:

    Romi ~ I stopped in to check and noticed that the plate of cookies is still there. Did I scare everyone? bwahahahahaha…

    (time to pat myself on the back)
    Saturday I ran thru a practice test for shooting proficiency at the range. I need a 175 to pass the class, and scored a 205!!! I hope I shoot as well on the actual test.

  9. Red Says:

    mmmm .. guns and cookies.

  10. Lucky Says:

    LOL @ Joan… “by accident”

    Girl…you are too funny. I love this!! hahahahaha

  11. betme Says:

    Red ~ kind of remind you of the song “Sex and Candy”? 😀

    Lucky ~ Joan’s wit always cracks me up…

  12. Moonbeam McQueen Says:

    You can’t fool me— that’s a squirt gun, and those are squirt holes!

    Coooooookies….

  13. betme Says:

    Dang Moonbeam ~ You figured me out. But we will keep this between the two of us. I want them to think I am dangerous. 😉

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