Forever Ever

I woke up this morning singing this song. Just in case y’all don’t know…  (I know I tell ya at least once a week…) I Love Me Some Him!

It took Mr. J and I several years to gel into such a comforting level of love.

When we started off, it was blazing hot crazy (insane) love. You know the kind of love (perhaps lust would be more in line), where it is hard to be in the same room without locking lips. The incredible animalistic sex was a constant.

Offset with periods of insane jealously, bitter battles over inability to compromise, and petty spats about annoying quirks.

Thru the years those same annoyances become endearing. I can no longer sleep at night without hearing the soft snores from the other side of the bed. Where his arm flung across me used to make me feel trapped and claustrophobic; it now offers me a sense of safety and comfort.

I wrote the following after a momentary lapse of adoration.

Who Left the Seat Up???

Mr. J, why do you mess with me? It must be for personal pleasure. But, I swear…

Let me back up and explain my pain.

The battle over whether the seat should be left up or down has been an ongoing WAR. This is an issue I will not let die.

I have long since given up on the toilet paper thing.

It is no longer so important to me if the paper falls over the top (as it should) or falls down the back of the roll. Or if it is inside out or upside down. I have even quit complaining about the empty roll you leave for me. Because you will now leave a full roll sitting on the counter within reach. (most of the time I can reach it without waddling to the other side of the room, with drippies running down my leg.) What more could I ask for?

Ummmm… Could you PLEASE… PLEASE… PLEASE… Be consistent on the toilet seat thing?

Seriously, the seat has to be left down.  ALL the TIME!

I have fallen into the toilet in the middle of the night for the last time!

And the one time you did put the seat down… Oh, that was bad!

You realize, I feel in the dark for the seat, and lower it before I sit down. In my sleep-walking stupor I stumbled into the wall, lowered what I thought was the seat, and proceeded to potty on the lid. I realized mid-stream (must have been the warm stream of pee I was sitting in, that ran down my legs and sat in a puddle at my feet) my mistake! For you Mr. J. had finally decided that you were tired of my whining and put the seat down for me. Gahhhhh!

The middle of the night is not the time to decide to do things my way! Please show me your new talents during the daytime hours, when I am almost focused.

If you give me this, I will quit with the dirty socks in the middle of the floor nag.

For the record, I picked them up after the four day test. I know you knew I was a bit ticked about them. However you are much better than I at the game of “See Who Can Out Last The Other.”

In Mr. J’s defense, he is not a slob. (He just plays one in my world) Just kidding. We just have different things that annoy the daylights out of us.

I will let ALL of the other issues slide (for now) if you leave my bathroom clean, toilet paper within reach, and the seat down! 

You know if Mr. J reads this, I will forever be falling in the toilet at home. And, the thought just makes me smile because I Love Me Some Him!

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10 Responses to “Forever Ever”

  1. kaylee2 Says:

    oH THat MADE ME SAD 😦

  2. Peter Parkour Says:

    Toilet paper, OVER THE TOP, baby. 😉 Toilet seat??? DOWN, every time. 🙂 Everybody’s gotta sit down some time, but first and foremost, it’s a respect thing. A lady doesn’t ever have a need for the seat to be up, so she shouldn’t have to put it down. 😉

  3. Lucky Says:

    OMG! I was doubled over laughing. This was such a great post!

  4. Lucky Says:

    Have you ever seen the episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” where Debra leaves his suitcase on the stairs? And Ray puts cheese in it? It is HYSTERICAL!

  5. betme Says:

    (((((((((((((((((((Hugs Kaylee)))))))))))))))))) Your box of goofies is in the mail!

    Peter ~ I need to find a way to convince Mr. J that what you are saying will not compromise his manliness. 😀

    Lucky ~ I thought I had watched every episode (at least once), but I don’t remember that one. Pooh!

  6. trisha Says:

    My demand is for EVERYONE to not only lower the seat but to close the lid! It was put there for a purpose other than a place to stand when trying to reach the shelf above it or as a place to sit when chatting with someone in the shower. If everyone closes the lid, That’s fair!
    But you’re right… it’s only one sore point in most decent relationship.

  7. Allison Says:

    I would enjoy a guest blog post from Mr. J on this subject 🙂

  8. Allison Says:

    Oh, and I’m psychotic about having the lid shut in addition to the seat. I have a paranoia about things falling into toilets (I think it happened on an episode of Seinfeld).

  9. betme Says:

    Dang-it! My response evaporated and I don’t remember what I typed just two minutes ago!

    Trisha ~ Long time no see! I only have the lid down when I am chatting, like you mentioned. (or when I am peeing on myself) 😀

    Allison ~ I do not want Mr. J to hang out here! I would have to get out the scrubbing bubbles and clean up everything I have said about him. I will try to squeeze an interview of sorts out of him and maybe get his side of the story. 😉

  10. Moonbeam McQueen Says:

    Tom actually puts the lid down! He was trained before I’d ever met him. It’s partly a feng shui thing, but he’s also pointed out that the cat can’t get to the windowsill if the lid’s up. I feel so grateful.

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