A Toilet Post

Way back when (sometime back in ’04) I first began blogging. Over the last five years I have sort of maintained 6 blogs. Each representing another of my Sybils personalities. My  first blog is a place I named The Toilet. I would post on the everyday irritants in my life.

I am going to continue that blogging theme here on Wednesdays. Yes, Wednesdays are hereby officially sanctioned as my RANT day. The day to dump (Toilet theme words a must on Wednesdays) on an issue that is under my skin.  

My first rant is an old canker for me: TRAFFIC

The streets of Houston cannot possibly be traveled by a sane individual and have that same individual not lose it! Being stuck in traffic… Is CRAPPY! (I think I like that word too much)

I know… All cities have their bad drivers… All cities have their road construction… All cities… blah, blah, blah….

I have driven in LA and Houston beats LA for incompetence behind the wheel… I cannot speak for Detroit or NY… But I still proclaim Houston to be the Highway Crap Capital!

Take a rainy day on a Houston Interstate… It rains a lot here… People should have a clue by now… Not a chance… One third of the drivers have backed off the pedal a bit. Easing to 65 mph (the speed limit is 60 mph). One third of the drivers are totally petrified and have eased off a bit more to 25 mph (I do not jest). And the remaining third are so peeved that the second group is messing things up, that they decide that the highway is the Indy Raceway. They will be darting in and out at speeds that could easily top 95 mph. All you see is WHOOOSHHHHHH, and they are gone.

Now, there is no way I could flip them off (not that anyone as sweet as myself would do that). They would never see my effort anyway, and I am a bit too frightened to pry my fingers off the steering wheel. I am by no means a timid driver. My son calls me “Marriane Andretti”. I like speed… But Holy Cow Dung (in honor of my theme… LOL) I want to live to race another 18year old off the line at the next intersection.

I have even tried singing a nice Church Hymn while I drive… Trying to put myself in a “Happy Place”. However, at the very thought of appearing sacrilegious, I have quit that practice. I know I will gain no “Brownie Points” with God when I began singing… “There is beauty all around… (and then someone stops for no reason right in front of me, causing me to park in a tree and the next line of the song comes out…) “When this Jack-ass moves his shit …. la-la-la-la-la… ”

I am working on it… Sorry Mom!

and with that… I ***FLUSH***

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14 Responses to “A Toilet Post”

  1. Peter Parkour Says:

    I feel your pain from coast to coast. I think I’ve run into a few of those Houston drivers as they’ve ventured out across country. Either that or they’ve been giving driving (I use the word loosely here) lessons around the country. 😉

  2. Allison Says:

    Though I can’t feel your pain as deeply as you do (after all, I do not live in Houston and therefore my city isn’t the worst), I can certainly appreciate a good rant 🙂

  3. Lucky Says:

    Highway Crap Capital…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    That is why I refuse to work in Dallas. I would require a very large salary to drive to that hell hole. I HATE driving in Dallas. HATE IT.l

  4. Lucky Says:

    wow. how did I do that?

  5. betme Says:

    Peter ~ Perhaps I should have consoled with you as to any area of drivers who’s status might out rank those around me. But, I think I will stay with my claim based on the added knowledge that other cities are merely plagued by migratory Houstonians. 😉

    Allison ~ Sweet of you to conceed. I see that you appreciate the finer things in life… jelly shoes, banana seats, and good rants. 🙂

  6. betme Says:

    Lucky ~ I think your words tranfixed on the comments in such a way because of the intense nature of emotion you were feeling… hahaha! Yes, I am full of it today.

    Now drive down to Houston and you will have a new sense of appreciation for the Dallas/Ft Worth area drivers. I dare you… I double dog dare ya. 😀

  7. Red Says:

    Oooh, I love poopy posts!
    Crap Capital .. yikes. no thanks. I’ll stay within the city lines of my little shit stain town.

  8. trishatruly Says:

    I never experienced your local driving talent (or lack there-of) but I have been to Connecticut where the drivers there, especially around Hartford, TRY TO KILL YOU!

    Keep up the rants. It makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only very angry woman out here.

  9. kaylee2 Says:

    WOW I loved that post!

  10. joanharvest Says:

    I’m lucky I don’t live in a city then I would never drive. Our town gets busy in the summer because it is on Cape Cod and the tourists move in on us. The population quadruples if not more. The traffic increases but it just means slower driving and longer wait times to pull out into the Main Street.

  11. moonbeammcqueen Says:

    What a fantastic rant! You’re a pro!

    Well, I guess I won’t be driving to see you or Lucky (or my best buddy in Ft. Worth) anytime soon. I’ve heard way too much about Texas road rage (and I know someone who was killed turning onto a Dallas highway several years ago).

    I like the toilet/dump theme, and the flush at the end is a wonderful grand finale.

  12. Sarah Says:

    Brilliant rant! Oh so close to my heart. I love to know that I’m not a speeding road raging freak. Thank you!

  13. Lucky Says:

    There is only one thing above the crazy ass drivers that would keep me from visting Houston…

    THE HUMIDITY!

    It’s humid as hell here but I know it is WAY worse there. I don’t know how you do it.

  14. betme Says:

    Red ~ I have read you comment several times and crack up each time. Yes, there is nothing like a poopy post.

    Trisha ~ Do you think they might be Houstonians visiting Conn.?

    I will keep up the rants, but y’all have to remember that there is also joy in my life… And I can be bribed with chocolate to share it. 😉

    Kaylee ~ Girl, how ya feeling? I am glad that you enjoyed my mad-woman posting. 🙂

    Joan ~ I hope one day I can be a tourist in your neighborhood, slowing up your traffic. I promise I will not drive in a homicidal manner. (unless provoked) 😀

    Moonbeam ~ Don’t be shy. I will ask all the idiots to be on there best behavior in honor of the Queen visiting.

    Thanks for the kind words… I think it is appropriate to flush our rants and be rid of them.

    Sarah ~ From one crazy driver to another… you are no freak. You merely give the correct hand gestures when needed. 😉

    Lucky ~ I try to think of the humidity as my personal free sauna session from May-Sept I glisten.

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