Sanity is Optional

This post is scattered and tough to follow, much like my thought process. I have several fleeing thoughts. They are broken and tangled in my head like the spent remains of cases of silly string.  I grasp at one small piece and it crumbles, with the fragments of thought vanishing, leaving me to grasp another fragment. Trying to unravel one or two complete ideas… It is useless today.

So, I am going to throw out a few fragments… A look into my mind:

Last night Mr. J asked if we had anything sweet to eat. Without hesitating, I stripped out of my clothes and proceeded to offer him a treat. He was gasping for air from laughing so hard. I could have been offended, but I enjoy shocking him on a regular basis. I read over at  Murder of Ravens  

“I honestly believe that the biggest reason relationships sour is not abuse or infidelity, but rather from two people simply taking each other for granted.”

I hope to never take Mr J for granted, to never let our relationship become a dull chore.

Grasping another wisp of a thought: In my late teens I would often spend time at the local Nursing Home. I became quite fond of a couple of the elderly women who were prisoners of age. One in particular comes to mind today… Clara, Clara, my dear sweet Clara.

Clara was the most kind, sweet, loving person. She craved human contact, personal attention of some sort. Her face would light up when she saw me walk into the room. However, Clara thought she was a dog. She would nuzzle up to me and lick my arm. I am not sure how she got them, but Clara always seemed to have a few Milk Bones tucked into her lap blanket. She would sit quietly while I read her stories and brushed her hair.

Clara always had a big smile on her face. When I grow old and lose my usefulness, I hope to be like Clara. Not a care in the world, waiting patiently to be brushed, munching on my treats… Well, perhaps I will pass on the Milk Bones.

I miss Clara’s sparkling eyes and soft snuggles.

The other woman was Rosie. It will be my luck to be more like Rosie. I am not sure if she was lost in her own world, half the time thinking she was a chicken, pecking at my cheek and drawing blood, or was she incredibly brilliant? Rosie would beg me to come close so that she could give me a kiss. Sometimes it was a kiss, sometimes it was a bite and a hen cackle, followed by “I’m a chicken.” Rosie was 104 years old and with her years came the right to be a chicken if she so desired.

And I will end with gnats:

Mr J called me this morning and moaned. It seems that when he unwrapped the foil from around his breakfast sandwich, that I made at 3:45 this morning, gnats flew out of the foil. I am not crazy! Well, not more than yesterday or the day before. I believe I would have noticed if gnats were flying in my kitchen, hovering around his sandwich. We had gnats a few months back. They were living off of a rotted potato that had rolled under the bottom shelve in the pantry.

I was miffed. Later he called back and offered a half-way apology. He stated that there were gnats all over the break-room. But, he was sure that the gnats flying from his sandwich came from home.  He becomes obsessed with insects and will surely have an exterminator at the house tomorrow. This latest episode started because he saw a teeny-tiny spider on his work boot this morning. It appears that we are now knee deep in an invasion.  

I am off to find chocolate and perhaps a cohesive thought.


11 Responses to “Sanity is Optional”

  1. Allison Says:

    You deserve chocolate after eating those cardboard chips of yours 😉

  2. joanharvest Says:

    My thoughts get so disjointed sometimes that I find it hard to read now. Unfortunately, I am on several medications and I’m beginning to wonder if that’s part of my problem. I can’t seem to sit still or think about anything for more than a minute. I never used to be this way. It could also be hormonal, maybe. I’m post menopausal. Or I’m just getting dementia like my mother did.

    I know one thing, chocolate always helps.

  3. Couchptato10 Says:

    Haha…those were quite the women, eh? Never knew someone who thought they were a dog. But I’m definitely sure there is just something about them that makes people go crazy.
    Gnats are always in my kitchen too. It’s a normal thing in my home. I have no idea where they come from. I have a theory that they live in the fridge. Freakin’ gnats.
    Enjoy your chocolate 😛


  4. trishatruly Says:

    OMG, I AM CLARA!! Too, too funny! I just wrote a blog about being walked on a collar and lead by my boyfriend!!

    I love your blog! I am definitely adding you to my blogroll!! So glad you came over to comment. I would hate to have missed out on YOU!

    Well done!!

  5. betme Says:

    Allison ~ Sure rub it in. You are eating yummy pumpkin roll and I am eating carboard potato chips. Does cubicle J still have her stash of chocolate? I might need to slip in and ‘borrow’ a few pieces.

    Joan ~ I think you are right. Chocolate is the cure-all for what ails the troubled mind. I am not sure if it helps much… But, I just began taking Omega-3. My doc suggested it. Much like gingko, we have to REMEMBER to take it. Sheeeesh…

    Couch-tater ~ (don’t be offended, but everytime I see your s/n that is what jumps into my head… and it is typed with hugs and happy thoughts.) I wonder if Clara wanted to be a dog as a young child and is reverting to her happy childhood???

    Trisha ~ I just laughed my ass off reading your post! You are frickin hilarious. Peeps, if you have yet to stumble into Trisha’s world, you need to head over, PRONTO!

  6. trishatruly Says:

    Thanks mucho, I live for readers and comments!!!!!!!

    and! YOU are FABULOUS!

  7. romi41 Says:

    screw cohesiveness this was incredible…wow, what are the odds that you dealt with TWO old-lady-animals! I would have liked the chicken-granny better, because the physical contact is more severe, and rough is good…(WHAT!?!?!…hahaha 🙂 )

  8. Peter Parkour Says:

    Often times my conversations sound much like your post and all my wife can say is “you think too much”. I’ve battled a few gnats in my day too. Mine seem to take refuge in my house plants. My mom swears by spraying the plants with ever so slightly soapy water.

    Speaking of chocolate (???), have you tried Cadbury’s Mini Eggs? I swear that chocolate is the best. 🙂

    I wanna be a dog when I grow up. That’s sounds like a pretty cool life. 😉 Ok, later.

  9. betme Says:

    Romi ~ I was just thinking that the Center could have been a mess had Clara, the dog, decided to chase Rosie, the chicken. 😀

    Ps. Rough is good, but not from a granny. There is a rule somewhere that states grannies must be soft and cuddly.

    Peter ~ Your wife sounds like Mr. J. He is often asking, “Where do you come up with this shit?” If he only new all the crazy thoughts that are in my head… hahaha

    I am going to mix up a spray bottle for future gnat attacks. Although, I don’t think the gnats came from our house this time. (I am in denial)

    And, the Cadbury Mini Eggs are my favorite Easter treat. YUUUMMMMMY!

  10. moonbeammcqueen Says:

    I love your nursing home stories! Being a “prisoner of age” (great term) is not something I’m looking forward to, but I relish having a license to be nuts.

    I wish trisha’s name was linked to her blog. How do we get to it?

  11. betme Says:

    Moonbeam ~ I too want the go-ahead to let out my inner nut.

    Here is the link for Trisha’s blog.

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