… And They Drive

We all have them, the tales of woe… being run off the road by an inattentive driver or stuck behind the woman who is putting on her make-up.

Of course, we are all great drivers. It is the OTHER guy who is a hazardous piece of shit driver.

I was just telling Sarah that I don’t often vent my anger with other drivers. Living in the city of Houston, it is dangerous as road rage seems to be the norm.

Two years ago, some crazed fool shot out the back window of Mr J’s truck. Two lanes merged into one and the offending driver decided if he had to give up a place in line, then Mr J would have to dodge a bullet.

People here are capital C.R.A.Z.Y.

And all it take is a sneeze in the wrong direction and you too might be dancing with the  psychotics behind the wheel.

I just got back from picking up a salad (yeah… I am eating healthy food today. It makes up for the Wheat Thins and Chocolate Chips that I had for dinner last night)

Anyhoooooo… I pull up behind another driver at a stop sign. He is just sitting there. I glance down the street in both direction and cannot see why he is waiting. I am left in a quagmire of sorts:

1.) Do I sit here for another 5-10 minutes and wait for him to pull his head out of his orifice of choice?

2.) Do I pull around him, hoping he will not decide to suddenly pull out, running into me?

or… 3.) Do I tap lightly on the horn and gently encourage him to Move the HELL out of the way?

In a normal situation #3 would be the obvious choice. But, picking number three has left me searching for the police while a deranged individual tried to run me off the road.

Oh what the Hell? I am brave today… feeling kind of cocky, I go ahead with option number three. We only live once, right?

I tapped the horn a couple light ‘toots’. The guy looks in his rear-view mirror and flips me off. (OK, I was expecting that)

He then rolls down his window and yells something at me. Being the curious type, I rolled down my window to hear him better.

I was not prepared for what he was saying… “Bitch, (I think he means me)  it’s red!”

Alrighty… Here is the good part. We were not at a traffic LIGHT. We were at a STOP SIGN.

He must have realized his error just as he said it, because he sped off.

I just sat there and laughed. The dude was waiting for the sign to turn green!

I feel so much better about my spacey moments. 😀 


16 Responses to “… And They Drive”

  1. scifialiens Says:

    Here in Canada, I used to commute across a provincial border, where there was a definite difference in driving habits. In my own province I find I tend to yell, “You idiot!” far less often.
    One night I hit a deer before getting across the border. The 911 operators (I went through several because they couldn’t decide who should deal with someone working in one province but living in another) could not believe I’d been wearing my seatbelt, and wasn’t hurt, and didn’t require an ambulance. They also seemed confused about where to send the RCMP officer from, and thought they should send one from my own province, which would have taken more than twice as long. Even shook up, I seemed to have a better grasp that the RCMP are federal, not provincial, so it didn’t matter.

  2. betme Says:

    Howdy Scifi ~ I am glad that you lived thru your deer encounter. Glad you were wearing your seat blet.

    Because my knowledge of Canada is based on my one trip to Calgary when I was 7 and endless hours of watching Dudley Do-Right of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame…

    I need to ask you a couple questions:

    1.) Do y’all eat raod kill when you hit it, or is that a Southern thing?

    2.) Are the RCMP really mounted police as in riding horses? 😀 And do they spend much time chasing after Snidely Whiplash?

    I just stopped by your website… Impressive! Now I need to head to the bookstore.

  3. romi41 Says:

    Hahaha, isn’t it great when a stranger addresses you by the default term of “bitch”? LOL…what an idiot!!

  4. moonbeammcqueen Says:

    I hate mean. I hate dumb. I fear mean and dumb.

    Hilarious post! For some reason, it makes me think of, “I’m Rick James, bitch!”

  5. betme Says:

    Romi ~ Crazy how we all become “Bitch” when someone is angry. First brain impulse is to let loose with a few choice words of my own. Then I laugh to myself when I calmly utter… “And how does that make you feel?”

    Moonbeam ~ mean and dumb is a scary combination. (but they are fun to watch on COPS.) Bad boy, bad boy, watcha gonna do…..

    Thanks for the Rick James moment… I will be saying that in my head all day now. 😉

  6. Sarah Says:

    First let me say that I’ve never been so mad at someone that I have wanted to shoot at them, so that is frickin insane! Second, that guy is hilarious. Waiting for the Stop sign to change to green. Wow, I guess there are all kinds out there.

  7. Red Says:

    hahahaaa! Waiting for the stop sign to turn green . haha!

  8. Peter Parkour Says:

    That is pretty funny. What a fuckin tard. He must have felt like such an ass as he drove away. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha… 😛

  9. joanharvest Says:

    That’s why I hadn’t driven over the bridge in 25 years. Terror seized me on the highway. But I finally did it alone today. I drove over the bridge and another 15 minutes to Plymouth and I didn’t have to pull over once to throw up. The scary drivers scare me to death.

  10. betme Says:

    Sarah ~ I have never wanted to shoot anyone either. But, I have had evil thoughts about their car sputtering to a stop. 😉

    Red ~ Can you imagine what was going thru his head… hahaha

    Peter ~ Tard is a pretty good word to describe the guy. 🙂

    Joan!!!!! I am so proud of you. That is a huge step. Hugs to you for being so brave!

  11. Daddy Dan Says:

    Funny story! I linked to it from my blog. I hope you don’t mind. If so, let me know and I’ll remove it.

  12. betme Says:

    Daddy Dan ~ Thanks for the link. Of course I do not mind. We all need a good reason to laugh. (even if it is at ourselves) 😉

  13. Patrick Says:

    Thanks for giving me this reference and link at my post about road rage. It has led me here, and whatever ‘rage’ or tension I may have had from this morning’s experience, it’s gone now, especially after reading your post.

    I think I would give the guy at the stop sign the benefit of the doubt. I would even take his insults, and let him vent, as he probably realized how ridiculous he was waiting for the sign to turn green.

    I think it’s healthy to allow for the occasional venting and outbursts, as long as we are able to laugh about it afterwards together. Of course, it’s a fine line…cause it’s also so easy to go over the edge.

    After thinking about this topic, and reading various posts and comments, I think I’m just going to be passive and let it all play out. Hopefully this will lessen the likelihood of the extreme gunshot. And, maybe, I can just settle for having a front row seat for any residual humor that may result.

    Even though road rage is getting more and more common, I still think there are way more instances of drivers letting you in, or waving to thank you for letting them in.


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