Are You Serious?

Today’s jacked-up news brought to you courtesy of the state of Texas!

I don’t generally have the TV on before work. I now remember why. Local news has left me acutely aware that humans are inanely fallible. In all seriousness what the Hell are people thinking?

Case # 1 (or uno for those of you who refuse to learn the English language)

    Parents who are afraid little Johnny and Suzy might be developing fat-ass-itise … say that fast with me fatassitise, fatassitise (yes, it sounds like an official medical condition) … where was I? Oh yes, parents who are afraid their chunky little cherubs are becoming too rotund are hiring personal trainers for their toddlers.

    Sounds like no big deal? Go ahead and shrug it off. I am saying these parents are chumping off another responsibility. Why don’t they take the wee one out in the back yard and kick the ball around for a bit? Or take them to the pool, for a walk in search of bugs, or even a silly game of tag?

    The children would benefit many times over by spending some quality time with their parents. The parent interviewed said she came up with the idea when she was at the gym. She knew her 3 year old son could benefit from a trainer in much the same way that she did. “Besides” she stated, “having a trainer now will increase his desire to work out. This will increase his ability to excel in high school sports.”

A big Fuck You to parents who hire trainers for their toddlers, hoping to increase the youngsters chances of making the school team. You suck.

Case # 2 (and if you think I am going to continue counting en español you will be sadly disappointed. Learn to read English or read some where else. snarketty-snark-snark to you)

    This is very sad news and I do not want to make light of the deaths… But, more so the reaction of the families. Four Teens Killed after SUV Hits Train 

    I mourn for their tragic loss at such a young age. Yet, I am bewildered at the responses that the families are making. They make no mention as to why their children were in a stolen vehicle at 4:00 in the morning. No, they want to know why there was no warning lights at the track. I know I am being insensitive. But, would a group of youngsters who don’t obey laws regarding stolen vehicles obey traffic signals? perhaps they would be alive today if there had been a light signaling an approaching train … and perhaps they would be alive today if they were not out joy riding in a stolen vehicle.

    I need to get in touch with my sensitive side… Because, I am having trouble ignoring the radar blaring, telling me that this is going to be another big law suit. I detest people suing each other for careless acts of stupidity.

Case # 3 (no I will not spell it out in German, Italian, Arabic, or Ebonics… I am an ‘English only’ bitch today.)

    I understand, we all got to make a buck. Some of us on our feet, others on their backs. And I don’t judge that. But, I’ll be damned! My tolerance for entrepreneurship ends when you abuse your children in your fortune building endeavors.  

Mom gave out business cards to sell daughters for sex 

    I hope she gets her ‘fair’ share of retribution in jail. Fuck that Bitch! (yes, I mean that literally)

Case # 4 (last one… I would hate for the world to begin to think Texas is a bad place!)

    This is one of those Good News – Bad News stories. Which do you want first?

OK, lets go with the good news: My boobies have grown. Seriously, the twins need a larger support system! Don’t roll your eyes at me. If you have ever dealt with small booby syndrome, you too would be cheering with me. To celebrate I am taking the girls out to the beach this weekend. They deserve it! Way to go girls, I am proud of your accomplishments!

Now for the bad news: My ass has also grown. Therefore the ass stays home. Nope, don’t beg, there is no way in Hell I am rewarding the ass. No, I am not referring to my hubby… He has been a sweet heart and overlooked my ass’s apparent attempt to sabotage the weekend.  I am sorry ass, you will be kept under wraps until you get your shit together!

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26 Responses to “Are You Serious?”

  1. ~Jack~ Says:

    Case #1 – Get their fat little asses from in front of the TV/Game Console.

    Case #2 – I, too, was amazed at the parent’s reation

    Case #3 – This Mother of the Year needs a very long stay in some hot, miserable cell.

    Case $4 – Send me picture. I’ll be the judge of what stays undercover.

  2. betme Says:

    I will send you pictures just as soon as you persuade my hubby to retake a remedial kindergarten course. His report card reflects that he “Does not share well with others”

  3. LL Says:

    I feel ya on the ass thing. Noooooo, I did not say I feel your ass, I said I feel ya ON that topic. I don’t roll that way. hahaha

  4. betme Says:

    Oh crap. I thought for a moment you might be into my ass. And when I say into my ass, I do not mean IN my ass. HA!

  5. Anonymous the Great Says:

    I would hate for the world to begin to think Texas is a bad place!

    Well it is a bad place for a number of reasons, at least which you Texan’s think it’s so big and great. Is it at all possible for you big mouth Texan’s to list what part of your fat ass state you live. I don’t think a Houston is a San Antonian or a Dallas person and I would fuck a Dallas person but never take her home to meet my parents. The others I wouldn’t fuck with your dick.

  6. betme Says:

    Dear Anon (you cannot add the claim to greatness if you are anonymous)

    I am saddened to think you would not want to fuck someone with my dick. More accurately, my dick is crushed.

    Btw ~ it is Houstonian … not ‘a Houston’ unless you are implying a desire to fuck the city itself. If this is the case, I believe you are too much man for me.

    You are a man, right?

    And I am sure a ‘Dallas person’ has no desires for all of your manliness.

    I take that back, there might be some Dallas area men who want a piece of that ass of yours. But, I am sure they have no desire to meet your sweet mommy (Unless she too has a nice accommodating ass)

    Keep me posted. 😉

  7. LL Says:

    Oh, AND LEARN HOW TO USE APOSTROPHES!!

  8. betme Says:

    ah shucks LL, that is a big word.

    I think he simply needs to jack-off and relieve some built up pressure.

  9. Anonymous the Great Says:

    No shit, did I miss a chance to go poopy? Seriously guys, sorry.

  10. Anonymous the Great Says:

    …and one more thing LL, I think I am in love with your brilliance. Thank you for pointing out my grammar inadequacies.

  11. Anonymous the Great Says:

    I think I’m I love with you. I am on my knees begging you to Pleeeeeease stop deleting me off your comments. I neeeeed you.

  12. LL Says:

    My pleasure. I consider it my duty to educate the stupid. Sometimes, those who don’t have the cojones to even leave their names have to be shown that if one is going to troll about on blogs, one should at least know the difference between plural and possessive use of an apostrophe.

  13. Anonymous the Great Says:

    Yes Xena Princess, oh master of my blog life. I submit. I love Texans. You get me all hot and bothered!

  14. Anonymous the Great Says:

    Can we have sex now?

    Please tell me that you are directing this question to your hand.

  15. betme Says:

    Hey Anon ~ Thanks for stopping by. I like playing with my food before I devour it. (A kitty thing) 😉

  16. Anonymous the Great Says:

    Until later my dear.

  17. Chickie Says:

    “I consider it my duty to educate the stupid. ”

    LMAO @ LL…you crack me up woman.

  18. betme Says:

    We are all appreciative of LL’s commitment to wipe out ignorance. She’s the Woman!

  19. LL Says:

    Well, it’s like superpowers. You can either use them for good or evil. I choose to use my supery dupery grammatical skills for good. I fight for truth, justice, and the proper use of adverbs, pronouns, commas, and apostrophes.

    I don’t have a bat cave, but I have a kick ass thesaurus!!

  20. betme Says:

    Cool!

    Just be kind to me. I am a flagrant offender. The worst part of my transgression is not a lack of knowledge. I am LAZY!

    My energy is reserved for the bedroom!

    Hey, do you use proper gramar in the throes of passion as well? Of course you do, for they are super powers! 😉

  21. Anonymous the Great Says:

    Not necessary to use a comma after “commas” kind of over punctuation My Princess Blogette, but okay, hey it’s your blog.

  22. LL Says:

    Bite me.

    A comma before the final and, or, or nor in a list of more than two things is called a serial comma or an Oxford comma:

    * We had milk, biscuits, and cream.
    * It is called the Oxford comma because the style guide of the Oxford University Press is one of its prominent advocates.
    * Although the Oxford comma is not always used, it may be applied in certain sentences to avoid ambiguity.
    o I spoke to the boys, Sam and Tom. — The boys refers to Sam and Tom.
    o I spoke to the boys, Sam, and Tom. — The boys, Sam, and Tom are separate units; thus, four or more people were spoken to in all. In such cases, the order of presentation can be rearranged to avoid possible confusion (I spoke to Sam, Tom and the boys.).

  23. Anonymous the Great Says:

    LL ~ I apologize for my inadequacies. Respectfully, Anon

    (Anon, I am merely helping you put your true thoughts into words)

  24. bang Says:

    mdwUIh good photo

  25. Idetrorce Says:

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
    Idetrorce

  26. Red Says:

    *snickers*
    You guys are awesome.

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